Kristine decides to die

GEK1041 Essay Sucks

2011-10-31T01:12:00.011+08:00

(Seems like blogger is a good place to type an essay when there's no Word on the com!)

Globalization is like a vortex and that sucks practically everyone into it.

In modern society, many "families" have been transformed to "households" in the process of globalization. Neither is the certified marriage of a couple needed nor does the offspring need to be of biological relation. Households are used to replace such situations where..... (living arrangements). Although it may seem as the notion of family has been diluted to an extent, one should note that this is not the case as the notion of a complete family consisting a couple and children is still highly regarded as a necessity. Hence, it is deemed natural that a couple have children to "complete" the family and when this task cannot be fulfilled, they tend to turn to other options and one of them would be adoption. Instead of the notion of family facing dilution, the fundamental structure of a family is in fact, fueling the child adoption scene. Thus, this essay tries to analyse why there is a great shift from local adoptions to inter-country adoptions, despite still having a high demand for local adoptions, inevitably transforming many families into global households.

The main reason to people sourcing abroad for adoptions would boil down to the fact that there is a lack of supply of children put up for adoption locally, resulting in demands not met. Local children are sought after because they can be easily pulled off as being biological as they have features and skin colour resembling their foster parents. This is especially prevalent in Asian countries as adoption is considered as a taboo topic. The movement of child adoption has been around and is most widely seen in the 1940s to the 1960s where relatives who are better off, adopt the children of relatives who can no longer support the child. During times of uncertainty and war, adoption served as a form of relief to those who cannot afford to rear a child and they are mostly only local adoptions observed. Although adoption rates were the highest then, the act was mostly kept silent and was considered a touchy issue whenever mentioned. However, during the 1970s to 2000s, adoption which was not done locally and when there are signs that the child may not be biological, it points to the infertility of the woman. A woman's responsibility is seen as to reproduce, thus bringing home a child to foster would tell that the woman is unable to accomplish her duty of being a wife. But as time progresses into a much more modern era, adoption has transformed into a viable solution for infertility. Stereotypes are slowly being erased and also the child is better accepted and not seen as a social stigma. The acceptance of society to rearing a non-biological child has improved, supporting more couples to focus on adopting a child as long as he or she is suitable, instead of being overly concerned about the need to find a local child who would not blow the cover for being non-biologically related.

In addition, the capability of a family to adopt a child sets its social status and class. It is relatively comparable to Manuel Castells' metaphor of "Networks" - Either you are entirely "in" the flow of it or entirely "out" of it. It may not have links to technology but a divide is distinct. A clear line is drawn between whether you can afford to adopt a child or you cannot afford to raise another member of the family. In adoption, a hierarchy is formed whereby only the rich or middle-class can afford it as a child essentially requires daily necessities and education, which can chalk up to a quite a huge sum of expenses. Unsurprisingly, globalization enhances such a phenomenon by widening the income gap of the rich and the poor. Despite so, developed countries are least affected within the country itself as they are still seeing a higher average of incomes and better standards of living of a large portion of citizens. Thus, showing that the gaps in income are more pronounced in the comparison of economically developed and less economically developed countries. With the hierarchy which was earlier mentioned, it is a driving force for financially capable couples to source for children from rural and less developed countries, rather than bringing home a local child which is already in a considerably high standard of living. Usually, the dire conditions these third world country children are living in, prompt couples to "save" and adopt them instead.

Another contributing factor to this shift would be about the involvement the country's government and the policies they have put in place to facilitate the child adoption processes. A normal adoption process can take up to at least one year to three years. Not only does relevant authorities continually do checks on the foster parents' history, welfare groups also visit them frequently to assess and understand the family situation. Furthermore, these precautions are to minimize the possibilities of syndicates in child trafficking which are proliferating in less economically developed countries. These processes take up a lot of time and it proves disadvantageous to the children's chances of being adopted. Babies are most sought after and as the child ages, they are less likely to be adopted as they take longer time to adapt and are more prone to have psychological trauma during their growth. Despite local adoptions being preferred over inter-country ones, the limited number of children being put up for adoption means that babies are rare. In order to find a child that is of a desired age, these foster parents are more likely to come across one when they look overseas.

Feelin' Good All Of A Sudden

2011-10-14T03:13:00.000+08:00

So many things still on hold !

Things to COMPLETE (today)

2011-09-12T09:38:00.003+08:00

Things that have been left untouched over the weekends because of my stupid illnesses..... HOW MUCH MEDICINE I HAVE IN MY ROOM NOW, INSANE!

I'D MOST LIKELY END UP OVERDOSE AT THE END OF EVERYDAY.

THE DROWSINESS, I COULD BARELY KEEP AWAKE OVER THE WEEKENDS!

HOW WEAK!

OKAY BACK HERE! THINGS TO COMPLETE TODAY:

CVS lectures
Print out your CVS lectures 3 & 4 and also... Other notes for tmr, eg. PR1101 and and and Anatomy and SO MUCH MORE
Global Householding readings
Peptides and Sugars PR1101 notes
BLOOOOOOOOOOD LECTURE NOTES - CRASHING TMR'S BLOOD TUTORIAL

Pack my room
Take my medicine
Be well
Softball trials
Whine and die about not being able to join Block Comm
Cry the day through
Smile the day through

TO BE FURTHER UPDATED

Home Sweat Home

2011-09-10T02:31:00.005+08:00

I should be... there

But I'm not. Always asking if this is fair or not. Life's unfair, darling, live with it.

Do we do everything just for returns?

Don't we do things just to see how people are happy and feel happy ourselves?

I don't like it how I might be biased.

I don't like it I'm not doing it the right way...

Held me by my hand through all these years and yet I don't know what to do about it. I don't know if I'm adding on misery or... Am I just, being apathetic towards the situation. How many years has passed, how deep those cuts were.......... Healed? Still fresh? Scars too ugly to forget? All these hurt where time is never enough. Never ever erased by time.

Tell me what am I supposed to be doing. Tell me what is expected of me, then... wouldn't that be much easier for me?

I find it so hard to tell myself that this is reaching a point of no return.

I can't imagine it not being like how it is now.

Where's the compromise people, compromise. But then again, seeing you in agony, should you continue to compromise? I don't want to continue being like a scout. I don't want to continue being a 2 headed person. Just know that I have as much love I have for both of you, given to you guys. What am I supposed to do? Make a choice?

I'm tired, I don't want to make a choice, I want things to go back to how it were...... I seem to have forgotten how that feeling is supposed to be. ):

I can't imagine the future... so divided. It's as impossible as getting back to where we were.

Non-chalent. Non-chalent. You are. Where have you disappeared to?

Lost in the chaos? Did you just fade away? I never hear you anymore.

Did you just shut off? Was it responsible to shut off? Did you ever blame? Did you ever feel guilt? Did you ever... Wonder about what you could do and have done to salvage the situation. I really have forgotten the days that were all about smiles and yknw, fun. And laughter. And not awkwardness.

Where have you been.

You faded-person.

I do really miss you.

Betrayal comes as the biggest sin.

Stay loyal, stay true.

Stay on, with a clear mind.

No one knows better than yourself, those who mean very much to you. Why hurt. Why hurt. Don't do it, what crossed your mind when you committed it? What made you do it? What kind of a decision was it? Muddleheaded one? Why? Why? Why? Never thought that impacts could be so far reached and devastating.....

I don't know what you want.

I hope I really knew.

I hate to see you this way.

I love you.

I love both of you.

Adios

Kris

Base Down Low

2011-09-07T03:39:00.003+08:00

Always... Songs make you feel better, they make you feel worse off

Although there might be nothing that I will never do to make you feel better :D

All would have been better if I could have found you

All bothered by what she says

Am I

Am I not practical enough?

Am I supposed to live and leave it

Am I warming up to people

Am I taking this too serious

Am I just questioning for the sake and fun of it

Am I just too bothered by it

Am I just being angsty

Am I just being PMS-y

Am I

???

All devoid of emotions

Altruism

All together Awesome

So much of missing tonight, it becomes quite troubling

Long nights without sleep

Long nights just make you think

Long nights are quiet

Long nights influence you

Long nights aren't meant for sleeping

Adios

Kris

This Might Sound Weird

2011-09-03T02:40:00.003+08:00

Sorry for the picture, somehow I can't seem to be able to satisfy this craving for Soba noodles, somehow I always fail to eat it... But I've bought it and the Sauce from Daiso today :D How great is that?

And I'm pretty much addicted AGAIN to the Sotong Head at Old Chang Kee! :D Tsk, who ask NUS to have OCK!

Oh another sorry for how stagnant this blog is. It's quite a challenge to keep it updated.

A Friday night in hall. It always feels too good to be true. I don't know why I enjoy having Friday nights in hall. It always feels so carefree and lively? :D It's especially nice to spend the time alone in hall on Friday nights.

Today was pretty much fascinating for me. Skipped the last (useless) lecture, had much sleep in the afternoon and...... Went over to Vivo for dinner (: White Dog Cafe... Hmm and now I'm wondering, why didn't I take pictures ??? Good was the burger that YW was eating but bad was the Seafood pasta I was eating. Good was the pint of Erdinger for only $5.5! Mushroom soup was rather pleasing too.

Got myself a rug to place on the floor... Random: I still hate the layout of Vivo City, can't seem to know why it's so messy and hard to locate places there!

Had Awfully Chocolate Icecream single scoop, gosh, haven't had that in ages ! :D

And then came back to hall to Island Creamery, sponsored by SMU ! :D

Gladly got an Island Creamery container! (Okay, easily contented me!)

I want my fat cute liddle white hamster now ! I can't stand it. I am disgusted with myself not having this cute liddle fat thing ! ): Craving for a hamster now ! I promise I will look after it with utmost care okay!

There's this liddle something about Friday nights.

They tend to be a liddle more deep. Not as shallow as how I always am/ have been.

It feels good to make a new friend that feels like a worthy friend. But then again, it's so scary how friends might have hurt you in the past. Haha, sounds like I need more than assurance. I guess, maybe... There wasn't hurt, just that it took me terribly long to let go. I guess it's just cuz I didn't have anyone by my side to somehow diffuse the entire situation/ feelings. I guess I've let go already, life moves on, as always, it will...... :D

It's so weird how friends mean so much more to me than relationships haha, maybe cuz none turned out well, I seem to have given up on it. :D Then again, I don't think I have the time for it at all. I'm so contented (maybe it's just cuz I am easily contented... ! ) with life now in Uni, I wonder why was I suffering badly for 2 years in NJC. I should have somehow made it into Uni 2 years earlier (which was pretty much impossible) Hahaha!

Friends, they make you happy, they make you cry.

Dear, do choose them wisely.

Friends, they might just be what I'm living for (:

It's quite amazing having them around !

Adios

Krisypu

DAY 2 SEM 1 DELAYED

2011-08-13T11:37:00.004+08:00

HAHAH OKAY I JUST LIKE THIS PHOTO FOR NO REASON.

Anws. I promised to give a write up about uni life each single day... till the day it gets boring. But I suspect every moment that I'm in KR hall and hanging out with my pharm-ates, there won't be a dull moment (:

So... Delayed... Day 2 of Sem 2 :D

Friday Friday! Partying Partying Yea

Okay so there wasn't clubbing last night, but stuff that was much more awesome and healthy. Did I mention about how alcohol harms one's brains, okay. I shall carry on in chronological order! :D

Day started off with a PR1101 boring shit intro lecture, skip.

Break for 2 hours where we (ahbing, peizhen, jiheon, weiling, xiangling) went to central forum to slack aka do work and also print notes, felt like we hogged the entire printer. (Walao, Qianyi pangseh us for some scholarship talk or smth) Here are some interesting parts: I got a markdown for the waiver thingy for the library and you get temporary bans from the library once you strike 3. And I got one ytd just cos I forgot to bring my matric card down from my bag and we went to the bookshop to get a PENCIL for myself.

And then UNDERSTANDING GLOBALISATION - GEK1041 lecture with Wenlyn, Esther and YuSiang's sister, I forgot her name. Interesting but then again seems quite tough.

Back to central library, lunch at the FASS canteen and then I found a MACBOOK PRO on top of a water cooler ! What nonsense right, too cool right, but then I returned it, smth too expensive to be taking lah, I mean I will perish in depths of hell if I took it, right! Horrible shit, but I still felt good about it that I returned it, collect some good karma.

Library was stupid cos I kept laughing and library supposed to be a quiet place LEH. Tsk, kept feeling like I was playing silent library. Then blah stupid lect PR1103 waste of 2 hours, tsk.

Back to hall on that ever SQUEEEZAYE bus. TSK AGAIN. Went down with B block to have my dinner then STAR2BURST! Awesome performances done by our friends. We didn't know that they could be so ^^ GREAT. Hahaha, cheers to all you wonderful people with rocker attitudes ! Too awesome, they enjoyed themselves as much as we did, I'm very sure! :D

Got back to our room and guess what, no reason, all of us were so ONZ and we decided to Bblock girls Volleyball training :D So fun ! There was Jia Hui and Nadiah being our senior mentors and then! We had Lynette, Joelynn, Chee Ling, Amelia, Yijia, Janice, June, Vebi, Michelle and... (sry if I left anyone out) :D & I don'tknow, let's say it was so fun and SEXY WHOOOOSH :)

Then had a couple of floorball passing and scoring practise and... went to the back of the stage to play the piano with Yijia and Joelynn. Joelynn was teaching us and guess what, I picked up some really simple songs. But I couldn't play Mary has a little Lamb. Hahaha, Never mind, but it was fun and she has like 1238917847248901 amounts of patience :D

Owells.. That's all and I stayed through the night. Oh got more chill songs from Yinwei, AWM! Gotta chill my way the weekends and complete some readings :D

Stay Happy.

Always.

Ciao

Kris

DAY 1 OF SEM 1 PHARMACY

2011-08-12T01:28:00.003+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE. LET'S CHANGE THIS STAGNANT BLOG TO ONE-DAY-A-POST-BLOG KAY. COS I THINK THAT UNI IS SO HAPZ AND I SHOULD CAPTURE EVERY MOMENT OF IT :D

11/08/2011... DATE night LOVELY date was James Chen from A Block - Block Head :)

Most prolly write down things that the lecturer went through in lecture (till I get my notes printed and a pencil somewhere to scribble down notes legibly) and the lectures that I had to endure today ! :D

Wake up @ 7am would give you enough time to be in time for lecture :D

First lecture was ... PY1105 Physiology of neuromuscular shit. Anws, thing is that it went on so fast... First set of lecture notes were done and yay ! But I did sleep at parts of it, a bit dry and repetitive, kinda was JC work.

Some really lame impromptu stuff :

WHAT DETERMINES THE POLARITY OF CELL MEMBRANE?

1. Relative concentrate

2. leaky membranes/ channels

3. large anions

4. Na-K ATPase pumps.

Saltatory conduction - myelin sheath... insulates to prevent current from dissipating.

Oh yea suddenly remember about my... Anatomy class where we met our 'silent mentors' aka cadavers in the anatomy lab. Respect for them. Yes noted. Thank you.

And no, I don't want to eat kway chap after anatomy museum. Neither do I wanna eat 'shabu shabu'! Um... my brain is not 130mm baby's brain size. Thank you.

Okay enough of it.

Back to dating game (: James was a sweetheart, pickin me up from my room. With all of us dressed up and him in a nice Black Blazer. But sadly, the weather to blame, he was perspiring like lots and lots. Then a rose from him, a nicer dinner than usual. And most of all the movie - Cowboys and Aliens. Where we were so sleepy but didn't close our eyes cos exciting parts were poppin out everywhere and at anytime. But boy was the show toooooo lame. And yea, my prezzie for the night was a tub of haagen daz, how great like minds think alike, I treated him to Ben and Jerry's and um, but he paid for it first, sorry I don't have cash.

Okay I am so tired.

Tomorrow is another long day. Imma be so crapped out, I have 0 lecture notes printed and I hope that a kind soul-ed friend would totally help me out tmr ! Please Pharm-ates, treat me with more love. I am such a lost and blur cock soul, I hope that makes you guys feel better, knowing that you're orientating much better than me... !

Star-to-Burst is tomorrow.

Can't wait to see our ever-talented freshies pittin' against each other. All the best you guys ! Such charmers, how sad I can never do a performing art. But yay IBG is on the way, Netball captain, I'm appointed hahaha, how cute. Can't wait to be shagged and tired and shagged.

Night, world.

I love life.

Ciao

Kris :D

Abandoned

2011-08-05T13:06:00.002+08:00

You know, the new life has just begun. Being in such a cool and interesting hall, Kent Ridge is the best hall. Hahaha and having all these brainwash... But seriously, it's godamn cool here. Can't ask for more!

Workload has started to pile, bit by bit, can you imagine it?! Lol!

I mean even before our lecture, we already have pre lecture stuff to study about.

I don't know what to say nor who to tell.

I have forgotten someone, I guess it's mutual. But I still do miss her occasionally. It's just so difficult to find someone whose frequency is as tuned to yours. Hahaha. But then again. Moved on and this new life promises me new friends, new cool people who will be influential to me. (:

I really want to pick up a performing talent. This hall is over flooding with talents and being with no talent just puts you no where lah ! Lol!

Alright, gotta pack up my room and head off to bathe then send some clothes to the laundry, leaving here at 3 (:

Ciao,

Krissy

Decided to be Ignorant

2011-05-17T00:40:00.003+08:00

Me and Mom. :D

I've decided to be a little more floaty and arty farty.

Talking about all the ambiguity in the world and expecting all those around me to know what I'm talking about. Sounds great to me. How great if I was bothered by things that aren't supposed to be worried about.

I'm Tired.

I tried to be more artistically inclined...

I'm tired.

Give Me Everything

2011-05-07T00:28:00.005+08:00

I demand.

I disappoint.

Myself.

Do I still ask why after all these? Where went wrong?

Give me everything that I really want.

Give me everything tonight.

"It's okay, just take the other course. It is equally as good. It's just another course, there's nothing to be upset about." Doesn't convince me. Neither does it sound good. It just sounds like a patronising statement. Alright, complaints should end here.

Hehe, I naively asked: What went wrong for my Med Applications?

Chow: Everyone wants a piece of it, ask yourself.

Me: Okay, I'm not someone who wallows in my own sorrows. Be it then.

But I thought the interview went across smoothly... Didn't it?

Did the essay kill me? Mmmm, the essay should have been the killer. I don't know. I want it, I need to get my Medicine Course. Why did you offer me Pharmaceutical Chem. You know how badly it feels inside. (Could you have sent the Med offer out a lil later, and that they would offer me Medicine tomorrow? Would it be so? But then my letter of offer/package has been sent out on 06 May 2011) Small small small small Hope somewhere in me, that doesn't really exist. I feel like crying and rolling in bed. I don't want to rant here... But I feel like a big part of me has been slashed off. And I really don't know what to do. I just feel like...................

Overconfidence?

Feeling too comfortable on the seat in the interview room?

It feels like no one understands how important the course is to me................ It's my life, that's how important it is to me. Personal statement killed me? I don't know what happened and I don't know why am I asking about it now, that all is over. C'mon don't dwell in the past. Now I have to think of how I should go about doing stuff?! Should I carry on with Pharm Chem and then after a year, apply through EIS for Medicine again?! Thinking it out loud on my Blog~ But I feel too saturated to do anything now, I feel crippled. ): ): ): ): ): ): ):

Give me everything tonight.

Grab somebody sexy and tell 'em Hey.

We might not get tomorrow.

I get over stuff in like a POOF. Instantly.

:D binging on a couple of slices of pizza, gong cha, sotong head, fish tails... Life feels much fairer and complete :D

Got this entire paragraph from one of the Tumblr pics on JW's iTouch and here it is:

The Game

You wanna play the game?

You play around, you have fun, you share secrets, you tell stories, you cry on each other's shoulders, you hold hands, you think about forever.

But you don't fall in love, because the first one who does, Loses.

Ciao

Krissy

Content w/ Loneliness

2011-05-02T21:30:00.002+08:00

You are the only Exception -- Paramore

Owells, stumbled across it and so it plays and replays.

Haven't been myself myself recently! Guess it's the waiting for my offer from NUS. Can I cry out loud, no one seems to know how hard it is to put it out of my mind! Never mind.

Anybody watched "No Strings Attached"? I feel like I'd be a Natalie Portman. Actually I feel like her... Becoming all weird and weird when I get into relationships. Not only that, I always seem to find negative things about the most perfect/ wonderful people.

Being independent and always alright.

I felt especially overwhelmed when her Mom told her in the car, it's okay to hurt. It's okay to cry, the world will be fine if you hurt.

Want my mice ):

Parents object. Such cute darlings, how can they not accept them. Cute tail, ruby red eyes, pure white and sexily sleek :D

But I guess I would feed and fatten up my Mousey babies if I really do get them!

Fast & Furious 5 -- I am waiting to watch you!

Ciao

Kris

Who Says

2011-04-22T08:49:00.003+08:00

Another picture from deviantart. Title: Heartbreak. Can I say stolen heart/ Empty Soul instead? Hehe. I guess I better credit the artist before I forget. Deviantart - IchTuDirWen

Doesn't mean anything. Just that the details are cool. Look at the female that is walking away, she has a blade in her hands. The heart breaking idea to me... Would be more of a shattering effect than something like that... !

My List of things to do... Seems to be progressing. Signed myself up for the 21km run already... The thing now would be to train up for it. And of course be free for it.

Suck it up Kris, loneliness is killing you.... O.O But then again, what loneliness! Loneliness of the heart? I don't get how I feel so empty with all my lovely friends around me and also my family. How can I feel lonely when I have all these magnificent people around me?! There must be something wrong with me... Which I already know. It's okay to complain ... I hope.

I'm very sure something has gotten into me and that ... It must be that show I am watching. The weather is good and the sun is shining like (: And I decided to dress nicely to work and not blade home after work?! I decided to travel home by bus! What nonsense, I was on the bus to work and I stopped and thought: "Where the hell are my skates?" and "What the hell am I doing in nice clothes?" Gosh. Superficial lifestyle, why do I feel like I am heading towards you? Gotta be all geared up for my sports and races... If not why would I spend the money and stuff... Soon, when I quit my job and stuff, I can't wait to be all sported up and you know, being all fit and fast again. Not only do I feel that I am ... deteriorating, I'm also becoming more dumb as the days pass...

ALRIGHT, non stop of ranting, I gotta get down to business/ work ... Lest I wna get sacked.

A Go-For-It List

2011-04-20T17:25:00.003+08:00

Instead of a Bucket List... I have decided to do up a Go-For-It List. (Can someone give it a better name... It sounds a little too corny to me, to be frank.)

Alright.

Things that I should be doing before University starts... Everytime I type something like this, I wonder about my acceptance and it freaks me out to an extent!

I think the list should be done up without any particular order and I can strike it out as life goes on. :D

Go for the 21 km run with Coach

Head off to a dance class

The Pulau Ubin thingy, where I get to snorkel and slack my 2 days away

Being so damn adept at creating/ organising camps

Widening my social circle. Esp. with people who are like all over the world. People who are up for many different things. And people who are willing to pull a fool along to try it out with them (:

Midnight roller skating @ least once

Earn more than enough money... Wait, money is never enough, so anyone's up for sponsoring me??

What about picking up a new language with Vanessa and Shan? But I told them that Japan has already melted down... Should we still take Jap?

Do things that are beneficial to my soul and then also, fuck the world that it is so godamned boring. FUCK.

Much more to come. Just that I have work to do in the office now...

Wondering If It's The Way

2011-04-11T10:09:00.005+08:00

http://www.pikarar.deviantart.com/ (Needed to credit this guy, his pictures do make me happy :D, also hope Chow sees his works (: Everything he/she draws is WAY TOOOO CUTE) (Trying to find a picture that shows the meaning of "Forbidden" clearly, but somehow it's quite hard to do so.. And I guess I gave up the search) Had quite a good chat with L last night... Taking away the crap and the suggestiveness, it did fare quite well... (Even if you expect there to be no more conversation, Lol) But yea, views from someone old makes you rethink if it's okay to be too Garang when you're young. But totally, Garang-ness makes life so much more interesting. Think that my perspective changed quite abit. This period of time where I feel that so many things are not important to me.... E.g. There isn't this study bit that gets me all serious. I am, I can say, treating life in a very slack way. And I am up for anything, any games, any whatsoever. So... Hola, I am the funnest person you can find now but can't get to go out with cuz... She's so packed with her work schedule. Can I do a Quote kinda thingy... This person told me how he "loves her... Without a reason." Giving love without a reason, without knowing why. I'm quite stumped I guess... Knowing me, you would prolly guess how my reaction would be, fucked up. But then again, I realise that I am in no control at all, whatever he does and says, I should just listen. Can't say I'm not affected but... Hey, I stepped into this knowing shit might come out. Alright, I jumped in when I see shit already, so don't blame...

Climb

2011-03-30T17:43:00.001+08:00

Somebody To Love

2011-03-27T23:27:00.001+08:00

Leighton Meester - ‘Somebody To Love’ Lyrics

Paris, France to Michigan
London town and through Berlin
I can’t believe this place I’m in
Everywhere and back again
Porcelain and China dolls
Give me one and I’ve seen them all
Got my back against the wall
Wonder where I’ll be tomorrow?

But wait, now how long could this take?
It’s hard to find a man,
When you’re gone before he wakes.
They say it’s hard to achieve
But can’t a girl believe?

(Chorus)
Is there somebody who still believes in love?
I know you’re out there
There’s got to be somebody
I search around the world
But I can’t seem to find
Somebody to love

(Robin Thicke)
Baby girl, there you at
Looking at me like a putty cat
Wondering where that thing is at
Wondering where your ring is at
Nobody ever did it quite like this
Nobody ever did it quite like you
Do your hair, I bought you shoes
We can hit the town like superstars do
You fall in love? Then let me show you love
Give me the key to your heart
I can give you what you want
When you’re waiting for love
And you’re lookin’ for someone
I’mma turn this gossip girl into a woman

Je t’adore, Je t’adore (I love you, I love you)
Make a move, do the thing
Turn around, strike a pose
Je t’adore, Je t’adore (I love you, I love you)
Make a move, do the thing
Turn around, strike a pose
Ooh, I like it
Ooh, I need it
Ooh, I want it
Hey Hey

I know it’s hard to achieve
But can’t a girl believe?

(You say hello, I say goodbye)

They Say It's All Fine

2011-03-23T13:35:00.003+08:00

Alright, he is cute...

I know that already yea.

This gotta be the best love song she ever heard in her life.

And now, we got the whole stadium in Love like that.

(the lyrics make me think of the kissing camera in the NBA when I was in USA, hee.)

Best Love Song by T-pain ft. Chris Brown is awesome. I don't know why, I guess it's the auto-tune coolness that is catching up with me, heh.

Gosh, I just took down the pictures from Facebook, I guess, me and myself wasn't quite comfortable with it. But methinks that the DP on my FB profile is disturbing me too... GOSH. Wanna change it to something nice but then, I can't seem to think/find something nice mannnn!

If I Was A Boxhead

2011-03-14T15:36:00.002+08:00

Title: Strength

Source: http://carnegriff.deviantart.com

Really needed to credit the source (:
It's about the strength Japan needs to pull through the devastation the Tsunami brought about. The thought of the nuclear reactors exploding makes me shudder. Tsk.

Gahhh, bad feeling I have for things. (Alright, the pessimism in me, can't blame anyone) So damned tired of the stuffffff....! Don't know what stuff but stuff. It's tiring and my eyelids find it hard to keep open.

Lemme just write up a list of things to do for tomorrow. (Planning on taking leave for tmr!) Oh and apparently my plans to earn lots of money has fallen through... Damn, I guess I would forsake money for fun, despite always harping about how I need money and how money-faced I am! But damn, the fun just overrides so many things!

:D

Meant for Work/Stress

2011-03-07T11:13:00.002+08:00

See the lovely cat picture :D

The results have been out for 3 days and yes, somehow, despite the good job, I still feel stress accumulating. The process of applying for Uni is rigorous and godamned irritating.

(Boss just came in, further edits later, going out for lunch with them NJC Finance staff :D )

Explored and Discovered

2011-03-01T09:57:00.003+08:00

Being in the office alone, may have been a good thing all along. I get to surf the net endlessly... (Until the boss comes into the office that is) And there are things that you discover on the net that leaves you impressed and intrigued. That's a good thing, how the Internet helps us get information and entertainment at our fingertips. Hooray for that (:

WARNING: This might just be a really long post. The fact that I haven't been blogging for a while. And that thoughts are running crazily in my brain and the diary isn't anywhere near/in the office...

THE 'A' LEVELS RESULTS WILL BE OUT ON FRIDAY AND YES IT IS TERRIBLY UNNERVING FOR ME.... AND THAT SEEMS LIKE IT WILL CARRY ON FOR A WHILE. Life deciding results they are, and I am not kidding at all.

Medicine, medicine, medicine. I don't know what I would do if I can't enter Medicine School. What's my second option? That was the question I've been asking myself these few days (because I don't feel like I can get my straight As) I know I want something to do with Biology... Zoology? Nature. Wildlife. Human anatomy. Human body. Many other reasons can be included. The kind of working environment that I'd like to have.

I used to reason why I'd love Medicine with three Cs. Challenge, Change, Competition. (They don't fall in any order) But... Challenging, yes it is. All the facts that you need to know, all the information I would need to squeeze into this walnut sized brain of mine. The continuous studying and learning throughout your entire career. (Change, that is) Continual discoveries of the human body are made each day and in order to gain your patient's trust. In order for your patient to have faith in you, you have to be updated with the latest. Compassion might be something every other would say that he or she needs, but really... Compassion or being adept in your profession. I think the latter matters more.

Yes, I know you might be thinking, how cold this Kristine is... Because she hasn't considered the patient's feelings. That part, fret not. Frequent visits, knowing the patient would be an advantage that would guarantee me a better prescription for him/her, isn't it? Fret not, you'll be looked after in a well-rounded fashion.

(Suddenly, House popped into my head: All patients lie. So I guess I need to have great lie deciphering skills too. LOL)

I ask, "Which career would make me want to go to work daily and not grumble?" To hit 12 hour work shifts and not ever complain that I have no life at all. This seems to be the most fulfilling one for me. (Alright, at this point, my post is just gonna be rambling, because the thoughts are coming up too fast and furious and I am too lazy to pen my thoughts in sequence... Whoever heard of someone planning their blogposts on paper first?)

Such excitement, such danger and fear, how many of you out there ever wonder how it would be like to have destiny in your hands? How many of you out there ever have the confidence to ensure the security of someone else's life? How many of you out there are fascinated by the human body, by the capabilities of our brains, the capabilities of the many systems in us? Not many, I presume.

Competition, I should not forget to mention something about this portion... Competing seems to be innate to me, without competition, forget about that word: "Progress". It's when people try to beat someone else's best and that's where they excel. But competition with people usually turns ugly. (That's what you get in business, the corporate world) But your competitors in this realm seem to differ (: They can be time. Compete with time to save your patient, when his/her life hangs on the thread. Compete with the current knowledge, possiblity to realise a breakthrough in better surgical methods, better combination and prescription of drugs to cater to the needs of those who trust in your judgement. Compete to diagnose, to think on the balls of your feet, which could save someone's life. Compete with yourself, incisions with precision ain't that easy, decisions and actions without hesitations are what most people struggle with too. And that, you need to conquer when an emergency chances upon you.

Many doctors/surgeons seem to have long forgotten what it really means to save lives. Is it about the money you're gonna earn? Or is it the number of branches you need to open to win another doctor's? (Yes I don't deny how healthcare is indeed a very lucrative market) But what about genuine altruism? Altruism for personal benefits seems like altruism non-existent.

I assure you I feel empty. I seem to have a greater calling. A larger accomplishment would be needed in the future. I seem to already have big plans, but would they materialise...? (Maybe I ain't working hard enough... Or maybe the direction ain't the right one)

(Wanted to put up a cute picture of a cat, but seems like the office computer has its pop-ups blocked, so I can't upload anything... Next time then!)
Oh but I need to credit this photographer! He has really captured the essence of life in his photos! They are incredible!
http://www.dstgeorge.com/
His blog was featured! :D

Ciao

Paper Thin

2011-02-08T20:54:00.002+08:00

Do you know that there is a chance in you.

If there is a spark in you.

Baby, you're a firework...

I don't know. Back here and back here. And feeling more than lost. ):

And upset.

And I guess it's just the hormonal changes.

I'm sure it is.

Up up, here we go.

It's Reaching....

2011-01-06T22:59:00.004+08:00

Aishah Aishah Aishah

DO YOU FEEL IT IN YOUR BONES?

Note to ourselves

#01: Not to get drunk (Okay maybe only applies to me)

#02: Smile and speak bimbo-ishly to fit in?

#03: Have ultimate fun!

Can't wait, shall we fast forward to Sunday morning where we enter the gates ?! :D

Ciao

P/s I bought my puppy a Purple collar and a grey colour leash, I think it's a fashionista now! But it hates the purple collar and bites the hell outta it! :D Who cares, it looks nice.

Sounds like Fun

2011-01-02T18:22:00.002+08:00

I've got a hoity now! :D

Anws, here's the thing! Stolen from Vanessa's.

I confess that in 2010, I have....

(x) stayed single for the whole year
( ) made out in/on a car
( ) kissed in the snow
( ) celebrated Halloween
( ) kissed in the rain
(x) had your heart broken
(x) broke someone else’s heart
(x) had a stalker (if that person, ahem, counts, FREAK)
( ) went over the minutes on your cell phone
(x) had a good relationship with someone
(x) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) had an abortion
(x) have a relationship with someone you’ll never forget
(x) done something you’ve regretted
(x) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under a mistletoe
( ) painted a picture
( ) wrote a poem
(x) ran a mile
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
(x) posted a blog
(x) listened to music you couldn’t stand
(x) went to a sleepover
(x) went camping
( ) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
(x) visited a foreign country
(x) cut in a line of waiting people
(x) told someone you were busy when you weren't
(x) partied to celebrate the new year
(x) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) lost something/someone important to you
(x) broke a promise
(x) lied
(x) went behind your parents back
( ) cried over a broken heart
(x) disappointed someone close
(x) hid a secret
(x) pretended to be happy
(x) slept under the stars
( ) kept your new years resolution
(x) forgot your new years resolution
(x) met someone who changed your life
( ) met one of your idols
(x) changed your outlook on life
(x) sat home all day doing nothing
(x) pretended to be sick
(x) left the country
( ) almost died
(x) given up something important to you
( ) lost something expensive
(x) learned something new about yourself
(x) tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it
(x) made a change in your life
(x) found out who your true friends were
(x) met great people
(x) stayed up til sunrise
( ) cried over the silliest thing
( ) was never home on weekends
( ) got into a car accident
(x) had friends who were drifting away from you
( ) had someone close to you die
(x) had a high cell phone bill
(x) spent most of your money on food
( ) had a fist fight
(x) went to the beach with your best friend
(x) saw a celebrity
(x) gotten sick
( )liked more than 5 people at the same time
( )became closer with a lot of people

(x)detested the year

(x)hope that the next year would be better

Too much or too little?

2011-01-01T12:15:00.004+08:00

This shall be a half half emo/happy post.

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY, (31ST DEC)
KRIS LOVES YOU TO BITSY BITSY BITS :D
(We went out to eat that Sharks' Fins thingy, I didn't wanna touch them sharks' fins, I haven't eaten any of them for quite some time, let's say maybe around 4 years, and I still don't plan to touch any of them. But then it always comes to me and I think, what diff is it, the shark and the chicken in the farm?!... Okay, let's take it that one is ... Endangered species, the other, it's bred to be consumed.... End)
Oh, the food was yummy lar. Esp the Fried noodles, I don't know why too, but Daddy and me agreed in unison that the Fried noodles were yummy, sadly we only order a small plate, cuz we already had 7 dishes... The prawns slathered in wasabi was like so awesome too! :D

Happy New Year all those peeps out there, welcome to the new world and I'm sure it would be much better than the year that has passed. Whatever you guys do, it would be a success and that all your dreams would come true. Yay.

In the morning was Sentosa with Vanessa and the Sun which makes me all sunburnt and itchy now that it's healing! :D
Such a relaxing place man, we should bring the kids from Camp there sometime soon. And we can play volleyball, make sandcastles and.... I don't know, do what people do @ beaches! Um, but then, suddenly, I thought of the entrance fee, 3 bucks each person leh! How! Maybe we can ask for some sponsorship, but nah, why wld they give us when there are tons of beaches out there that don't need to pay to enter right... Yea, true. But I wanna play ! And can see chicken little and bury him in the sand! (Okay I think I miss the kids, for real just like cereal for real)

Alright, so ytd I had a countdown party with them 4JT people @ KangKiat's house, how nice of him to let his house out for all of us right, yay. He has like all the Samsung stuff in his house please, like this super BIGGGGGG Samsung Tv in the living room, awesome. And then Chow said: "Your TV too big, can't aim the Wii control cursor!" Lol, alright, I really missed them. How fun and carefree :D Oh and I didn't mention, he had this big TV again in his room and he had the... Xbox attached to that one instead, Lol. Thing that was lacking was Lays or Ruffles, I was thinking, with Zhenyan ard and no Lays?! Weird!

And what a sad thing, I brought my Camera, but WHAT, I didn't take any pictures, must be the mahjong and Monopoly deal that totally took all my attention away! Oh and the countdown party that was on Channel 5 was so ... Lacking!!! Lol, there was nth much to be watching it anws. Oh and then did I mention, Chowhan's Lapras is really v cute leh, he showed it to me on his DSlite I think. Not sure, but awesome, so long nv touch any such nintendo stuff, you know! Qiani kept winning in Monopoly deal. Alphon, such a sad thing, didn't win any since he started playing that day. And KangKiat, always got stripped off all his money and properties! LOL. Zhen Yan is like the slowest player, with him in the game, OH GOSH MAN! a 10min games turns into a 15min one, he'd be so Viwawa-timeout!

Taking away all the fun I had ytd, I did feel quite disappointed.
I mean the most important person wasn't around. Alright, maybe not most important, but the one that I wish could have spent the night with me. Owells, wishful thinking I guess, somehow I knew that in the end, things will backfire.

Random: OUR LIST THAT NEEDS TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE UNI ENTRANCE!

Maybe one thing that did change was us. Don't see that past you in you. (Okay I might be still grrr now, that's why I sound so godamned biased) When did you become so much of a reserved person. Being so confined by someone else, I thought freedom was something important to you, something that was seen as equally important. I thought, you think, then who confirm, right?! You're so special that such stuff make me doubt why I put you in that special position. What you say doesn't even match what you're doing. Sometimes, people have just got to be ruthless, but all the people stuck in a dilemma can never! Right....
How can it be that you said you never will be such a person and then you become such a person, grrr, say already I also pissed. But I shall just justify it that yea, you are indeed sacrificing in exchange for what that you need much. Okay, justified.
Want me to try and understand, I do understand, I just don't get it how someone can change so drastically. Saying him being clingy, but both ARE clingy.

Clingy, how true. Clingy, just to see how we cling on different things. How I choose to cling on different things. Nostalgia.

Never mind (even if I'm making a scene now), I don't really want to make a scene.

I guess someone said it right, possible that it might be just me not being able to get the grapes and then complaining and predicting that the grapes would turn out sour. Should be that way. Actually still don't want to accept that you're now like that, so I guess, turning a blind eye should be fine... Should be fine, since this is the new year, what that was in the last year should remain in that year. Ugh, whatever it is you wanna do luhhhhhhhhhhh. ): Want you back to chill and have fun in my life yet so don't want you back at all if it's like that.

Conclusion: Still fuming. Still biased and still full of nonsense, at least writing them down kills the writhing agony in me. At least.
Friends, how easily they affect you.

Ciao
Kris

P/s Oooops, supposed to be working but, it's okay, what a Slack day anyways.

MERRY MERRY XMAS!

2010-12-25T15:59:00.004+08:00

Howdeeho peeps.

The new year's coming and inside me it tingles.

Wonder if I would be able to put this year behind me and start the new year like a new year. Alright, confusing.

People can do that right? Isolate the previous years, the previous things and then move on .... Like its all brand new and that we aren't scarred at all. That should be the way. So that we're fresh and ready to be scarred once again.

But wouldn't it be less hurtful if we're all bruised ?!

Never mind. I know I want it all new.

Merry Xmas dooooooooooods (:

Had an awesome camp :D Love the kids, love the people thr. And of course love the way that I am not slacking my days away. I'd be starting work next Monday at SICC. Hope that everything would go on smooth. I feel quite troubled by it though. Alright, I know the festive mood, why feel stuck for such stuff?!

Random: Did I mention the cake that ended up our own... So damn good from Awfully Chocolate. It's like eating chocolate! But gosh, such a big cake ):

Oh went for gathering with SSP people ytd night and it was as fun as usual. But I guess I was way too tired to actually enjoy. Furthermore, I was having pre-cramps ): What a mood spoiler! Like wtf. So I left early home (Btw, it still took me an hour plus, and I reached home at 12 plus) What an uninteresting countdown I'd say, walking back home without hearing anybody screaming the numbers as they counted down. Maybe the pics of the BBQ would be up soon !

What I need now, badly... Would be that exercise!

Have a wonderful Christmas.

Stay healthy and blessed.

Enjoy your holidays and the days ahead (: The new year is approaching and may it bring along the best of luck for all of us.

Love,

Kris

P/s

It's Over - Jesse Mccartney

We've run out of words

We've run out of time

We've run out of reasons

Really, why are we together?

We both know it's over, baby

Bottom line: It's best we don't even talk at all

Don't call me even if I should cross your mind

Hard enough, I don't need to hear your voice on my messages

Let's just all it quits Its probably better

So if I'm not returning your calls its cause

Cause I'm not coming back

I'm closing the door

I used to be tripping over missing you

But I'm not anymore I got the picture phone

Baby, your picture's gone I couldn't stand to see your smile

Every time you dial

Cause it's over Girl, you know it's over this time

So when you call I'm pressing 7

Don't wanna hear your messages, messages

I'm tryin to erase you from my mind

Cause it's over I swear it girl

It's over this time

So don't be callin' leavin' messages

Don't wanna know where you've been

Baby cause it's over

I still wake up every morning

Quarter to ten

I still eat my cereal

Right at the kitchen table

I can't even remember how long it's been

With no trouble staying occupied

They ask about you whenever I come around

I do what I can not to put my business in the streets

Last thing I need is another episode

Keep conversations short and sweet cause

You know that its over when the burning and yearning inside your heart

Ain't there anymore

And you know that you're through

When she don't do to you and move you

Like the way she moved you before

And you wanna pull her close

But your heart has froze

You kiss her but her eyes don't close

Then she goes

Out of your heart forever

And it hurts you but you know that it's better

We Are Unusual

2010-12-13T10:35:00.001+08:00

Greetings Earthling, I'm here to conquer your world and.... turn all of you guys into Slaves!

Okay, all the bull shit aside, I'm just pure bored!

Like the most awesomest pic!

Hihi Yummy chix wings :D

:D :D :D

And tragic.

Beautiful sotong! :D

I don't like it like that lehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! ): ): ):

Should just remain stagnant and like yea remain how it is. So fun and uncertain. And don't be so crappy Krissy :D

Ciao

Unlinked Genes!

2010-12-05T12:56:00.006+08:00

Ha, finally all the photos are up.... The title felt like me expressing my love for biology and also the randomness of this super long and boring post~

Alright, I did try to put them in sequence but lousy blogger shit doesn't allow me to drag photos! But the lazy me is so used to the blogger kind of system so I won't be changing to any other blogging websites. Never mind about that.

(I feel like this is going to be a very long post that will encapsulate (contradicting though) those phases of my life that impacted me.... The people who I've spent those unforgettable times with me!) But then again, I would never know if the feeling was mutual. I hope it was :D

So... here it goes with no sequence!

Then the meet up. Where the old friends meet the new. I like it when everyone's at ease. Maybe people of different genres should just get together... They make such good and unusual conversations.

WE'VE ALL GROWN UP! Such a rare picture! I do think of the days we would eat cup noodles in the middle of the night and then go to sleep. Those basketball matches we have at night! ! ! ! We should all go and be liaison officers for the games at SSP next year and all stay in hostel again!

New phase of my life that was entirely bittersweet. Made close friends from a totally different genre.... Still, I wish we were closer.

I miss yaaaaa.....!

:D Do you guys rmb about the teacher's day performance. I remember how we made/ painted our own National Day Tees just to save money. And I would say Max had the nicest/bloodiest shirt. NOSTALGIA STRICKEN.

SINGAPORE SPORTS SCHOOL. How can I ever ever ever ever not post about this?! I mean this is like the turning point of my so very young life. I would never ever ever find an even closer bunch of friends. I am always surprised how I still feel so very close to them whenever I meet them. However, after the meet up, I am consumed with guilt that I never put in the effort needed to hold them close to me. I guess I just feel paiseh (yes, I know, paiseh is so not me!) but then, alright, I shall make an effort to cherish them. Thanks guys :D

Lovely people that pulled me out of the sufferin' when I left Sport School. So much fun in Sec 2! I mean Chinese class with Yang Meh Meh, Calligraphy with Shuaige lao shi. :D Wow, I miss those times! Like REALLY REALLY. Oh and Eunice too, the photographer that's not in the pic. :D :D :D

:D Lovely bunch that... Always almost late for school in Sec 2. And of course, lovely Shah always so cool... Sometimes, all the small things are the ones that make you smile. (But after this phase, I hope that the days in LA would turn out great... I always miss the bitchiness in you guys, man!)

I can't deny how huge table tennis was to my life. Everything was table tennis. Everything was about competitions and trainings... And of course unimaginably good friends that I made there. I wouldn't trade this part of my life for anything else. (and I'm totally embarking on this whole new journey on table tennis soon...! )

The best times I had in my secondary 3 and 4 life. Awesome. How nicely the class gelled and everyone was at ease with everyone (Okay, I felt at ease with everyone... because emotions did flow and there was much less of hiding and stuff...!)

All in all, things do move on and we should learn to take that stride ahead. Many more moments that take your breath away will arrive. Just remember not to let those little things slip away, hold them as tight as you can....... (:

( Eeeeyuh, I cannot live as such a nostalgic person! I won't be able to move on... I am sure it is the extra time that I am entitled to after the exams. Me not being busy = me having too many thoughts that are neither productive nor good. It's the pessimist in me working things up!)

Okay no more emo-momo post. Change of topic needed.

I feel like a new phase in my life is gonna appear! (Shushhhh....)

I wanted to rant about how the Western Values and Asian Values in me clashhhh but then now, I'm tired.... Maybe I wanna go into mode Horizontationnnnnn, hahah new word I learned that is totally impossible to comprehend, cuz of the weird person (hahah) that came up with it. But then the super smart me understood it like *TINK*! (but I'm not weird) Immediate.

I don't know what else I wanna type about but I will slot that edited part in when I do think of any. I think the stuff that I blogged above drained me. Ohhhh, my driving starts on Wednesday! Hopefully I don't wreck the instructor's car cuz I have a feeling that I don't have the FEEL~

Alright,

Ciao

Any Human Connection?

2010-11-28T01:44:00.002+08:00

Alright, ask me why I chose that picture! Just because I spent a fun evening with a photographer... I don't know if he's a pro or not. But then, it was really fun experimenting with different kinds of effects and what not. Some Claude Monet, and don't know what other shutter speed kind.

So the picture above would hopefully be something we can come up with next time. Such nice effects. Auto actually does some of the tricks luh!

I was quite disappointed in the trip though. Supposed to be one that is about Orchard and its lightings but didn't quite turn out the way it was. Quite disturbed by some people as well. But then again, I shouldn't be. The dynamics was indeed different today, no wonder it turned out this way. Never mind.

But people should keep their jealousy within themselves! That's all I would say... However, when I do think about it again, I don't know if I should have paid more attention to you. I guess I should have, but then I don't know why I should! You'd still push me away and it'd always be like that.

Oh wells, Krissy does indeed need to feel more love! Let the love spread people!

She dislocated her arm while swimming if anyone still doesn't know! So when you see her and decided to be rough and smack on her right shoulder just to say hi..... Think twice! Because her arm might just pop out and scare you even if Halloween has already passed!

Don't want to care about how people look at me.

Don't ask me why.

She says: I just need my dose of fun.

You know what... I need my pictures. Yay camera tmr! :D :D :D

Ciao

(4am in the morning and I can't get lotsa stuff outta my head, now there's a reason why sleep would be such a trouble tonight)

War of My Life

2010-11-21T01:52:00.002+08:00

I've got a hammer and a heart of glass

I gotta know now which walls to smash

I got a pocket, got no pills

If fear hasn't killed me, then nothing will.

Don't know what to say nor do I know what to do. Shall get up for a jog today. All my thoughts are so built into you and sometimes I'm just unsure. I want that one person to call mine. That one person that would not weigh and would be sure that he/she wants to spend his/her time with me :D That'd be so awesome.

And I want to feel that way for that person too. And I know that it did come and it has already gone by. So I am all refreshed and willing to give all that I have again. Give all that I have to that very special friend that I will learn to love again. :D

BFF

That's just my thought.

After all, you do need to know that I am possessive.

And it perfectly screws things up.

Ciao,

Kris

(Oh Dad applied the credit card for me liaow YAY!)

(And shock, did you know that Singaporeans need to apply for VISA for visits to America?! Owells, apparently, I'm supposed to know that .... I thought we are a bunch of safe people! Just that now, compromised. Because of those knife-wielding kids around the blocks...)

Eccentricity

2010-11-14T15:47:00.004+08:00

Uh hah. :D

Have you ever wondered if you've changed... And of course be eccentric? Like deviated from the norm? Well, it's either one of those "down"s that I have now or it's just that I'm eccentric. Not too sure about it but me being "down", has been going on for quite sometime and I feel so lost. I'm still that me there outside but deep down, I'm actually yearning for so much more, but then again... So much more of what, I don't know! Power? Knowledge? Wealth?

Alright, all the bullcrap, never fail to deliver those crappy parts in the post.

The THING now would be the Los Angeles trip. Totally awesome and fucking cool ! AISHAH SHIH FUCKING CANNOT WAIT to hop on the plane now and be on our way. Wait... Need to pack up nicely and need to shop for stuff first! :D And of course, get our driving licences there and drive around. Head down to San Diego, Malibu Beach, The REAL Universals. Wow. (Mind Blasting~) Yea, getting the tickets this Wed or Thurs, can you believe it? It will be the best time of my life. And best part? Aishah's not having her school till like Feb or something.

Oh and can you believe it, yay, volunteer work :D FTW.

(Secretly and Geekily... I will miss my books and Math, Chem and Bio. Damnit, how disgusting can I get. I will miss the feeling of knowing stuff, that one... FOR SURE! But of course don't play until I have nothing else left in my lil brains luhhhh)

Owells. Leave this sad town and move on with a lovely friend there and of course make new friends, enjoy each others' company. I hate this place just because I can't feel like it like how it really felt. I won't turn into an American Bimbo. Maybe I will just gain lotsa weight that's all HAHAH, imagine all the huge portions.

Yay and learn surfing and drive ard.

Okay, dose of Chem needed

Ciao

In My Dreams, I...

2010-11-05T02:03:00.003+08:00

Ummm, in my dreams, I...

I bought a Bentley

The guy gave me a Bentley.

No I was friggin rich in my dream and got myself a Bentley...

NO, I was like a really good thief, so I got myself a Bentley...

Wow, so many possibilities dreams bring about!

Blooody urge to blog but nothing wants to come out of the Brains.

Way too saturated. Or rather, I don't want anything not to spill out, actually spill out, yikes, alright, don't spill out okay (so damned difficult to stuff you guys in!)

Anyways, my attention is rather divided now, and of course so many thoughts running through my mind. Did I mention about an article of how drinking more than 3 cups of coffee a day shrinks your breasts? Gasps !!! Luckily I don't drink that much coffee, if not I'd be an airplane's runway already.

Did I mention how my attention span is getting way too short and I look at that piece of notes and my mind drifts away! Drifts all the way to times which I wish still existed. To the times which meant so much to me and were so much more enjoyable than this current situation. Owells, but then I have morphed (ugh sounds so evolution, but I've changed that's it), quite a big change... Makes me wonder if I would ever be able to fit into the position that I was once in. Alright, all the unnecessary thoughts a week before the exams...

I guess happy times are meant to be left there. Because if you try to squeeze into the mold that you were in before, you'd most likely not fit anymore and of course create awkwardness! The part which you wonder the most would be if you are actually invited or not, despite the great times you've had with them.... Gosh, cut me so deep, I didn't realise. I feel scarred.

But scars just serve as reminders (how ugly they look) But they don't hurt anymore, unless you wanna be stupid and pry them open again... Just to see how the blood trickles, if not. Cmon its fine like hell please!

Ciao,

5 days to As and I'm lovin' it.

Kris

(Omg, and I miss Indian food at that Chinatown shopping centre? Is it Chinatown Point or smth? Totally need to find my own way there to gobble food again! But then again... All alone? We need to make that place livelier and of course Enjoy, to bury/cover/leave/forget... But what nonsense, Vanessa allergic to Indian cuisine lehhhh, Hahah, Ah Shan, accept my invitation PLEASE! haha, omg how no-friends I realise I am now...!)

Why try to change me NOW?

2010-11-03T01:13:00.001+08:00

Fiona Apple - Why Try to Change Me Now

I'm sentimental
So I walk in the rain
I've got some habits
Even I can't explain
I go to the corner
And I end up in Spain
Why try to change me now

I sit and daydream
I've got daydreams galore
Cigarette ashes
There they go on the floor
I go away weekends
Leave my keys in the door
Why try to change me now

Why can't I be more conventional
People talk
And they stare
So I try
But that can't be
Cuz I can't see
My strange little world
Go passing me by

So let people wonder
Let 'em laugh
Let 'em frown
You know I'll love you
Till the moon's upside down
Don't you remember
I was always your clown
Why try to change me now

Don't you remember
I was always your clown
Why try to change me
Why try to change me now

Food For Thought

2010-10-30T13:40:00.006+08:00

Okay so once again, I know that I should be studying but! I am all restless and can't face another paper... What a wasted afternoon!

Alright, here's this post on Food For Thought (literally).

I wouldn't swap Asian Cuisine with any other cuisines in the world! I love the Western dishes where we have fish and chips, pizzas (YUM!) and all the steaks. But urgh...

Maybe not to such an extent!

I wouldn't trade rice/noodles with fries ... Or potato. (Bread maybe but then again!) All the nice curries, I wouldn't trade them too.

STREET FOOD/HAWKER FOOD! Delicious and I can't imagine myself spending a month in America, constantly eating fast food, non fast food which still tastes like fast food. Unless I afford the atas restaurants there, mmm. But wouldn't I still crave for the hawker food in Singapore, despite it being hot and sweaty and aircon-less. Owells, I'm not sure about my life in USA now, Hahaha! But I know it'll be fun, food is not one of the main considerations (I guess)

So I tell myself, "Look at the chicken chop, yum isn't it..." Then again EEW, I don't know why but, meat... There's this thing I can't take about "unfresh" meat. What I mean would be meat that is taken from poultry or cattle that has been raised inhumanely.

I have been trying to stave off meat for quite some time. But to no avail because the household still whips up a dish of meat or 2 each day. With me having most of my meals at home, how can I not eat meat and survive the day (Because my Granny nags the hell out of me to eat meat!)

Oh and then here comes the linkage....

I've been ill for the past few days: Flu, Cough, Fever. Horrid, I know, the fact that the As are going to be here in a week's time. Never mind. The main point is... The Granny keeps nagging and saying, you are so weak and fall ill BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT EATING MEAT. But I know I am getting the required amounts of nutrition. (I eat fish! Because that's the meat that I would eat more if I'm required to touch meat) I am getting my milk and eggs. That's a lot of protein and that should be what I need. There are the beans, the toufu and what not in my diet as well, I think that it is fully supplemented! But meat or not, that doesn't equate to me falling ill or being weak.

Oh, another link .... (all the random thoughts swirling in my head, you can't blame me for jumping here and there!) The reason why I stay away from meat... Okay 2 reasons, it's really hard to digest, I feel that I always find myself getting indigestion after ingesting meat so maybe that's one of the factor.

The other would be .... I'm not eating sharks' fins or any other exotic creatures that are on the verge of extinction! So one day, I was sitting there thinking and I couldn't come to terms with myself why I shouldn't eat shark and other exotic meat but then continue to eat chickens and cows. Makes too little sense. I tried the argument that they were bred to be consumed. But then the thought the ones in captivity suffer even more! They were bred to be consumed, they were bred to be cramped up in small cages, they were bred to be mistreated. Gawd. Okay, totally senseless, cuz I'm still eating eggs. Ah, all the crap logic, now that I'm typing it out, it seems like it has become a chicken and egg argument.

Never mind. I don't know why I am fine with seafood, maybe I will slowly distance myself from it. Just because they don't have fur and cannot be cuddly by any chance? Like how the fish in the water won't recognise you as someone who has been feeding and caring for you like how a cow would MOO in acknowledgement of its owner? Flawed theory because all are lives that I'm taking.

But I can take a bite of the chili beef fries, can't I? (Oh, Vanessa wants to try the chili beef sauce, so here you go... Oh dang, you can't take beef, sorry)

Anws, it's just me and my too many considerations and too many little thoughts that eventually take over me (YIKEY)

Okay, I shall stay addicted to Milk Tea from Koi and pearls overall are seen to be cancer causing to me so don't eat so much okay! And just like drink low sugar Milk Tea from Koi! Hahahah, alright you can kill me now for being in such a state of paranoia!

On second thoughts, I know that I wouldn't be a vegetarian forever or you know pledge to it or smth. I would gladly consume an animal after its death has been respected. Knowing that the animal was taken and given the death sentence in a justified way... Respecting it. Thanking it for providing us with whatever it can, and that none of it goes to waste, that I can consume guilt-free.

Oh and an hour ago, I was meddling with the printer just to print out my Chemistry Paper Threes to like chiong afterwards !

A levels FTW :D

I actually kindof love the studying, shush....

Did I mention how I fell in love with the Bentley.

Ciao,

Kris

Raccoon Eyes

2010-10-23T10:26:00.003+08:00

Everyone should sport Raccoon Eyes Makeup! Be it using the dark eye shadow or the late nights doing work. It sure does compliment and give you that Pop-eye look :D

Did I mention how I have prom all planned out. The thing I hate about such stuff is that once I am in it, I am actually concerned about it. Cuz I don't want to go to a party or sorts feeling insecure and lacking of confidence. And wait.... I still don't know/forgot what the theme was about. (Crap)

Anyways, I have decided to swallow a cup of black coffee without sooogar so I can be at my tiptop for the night :D And also to get some real strong alcohol, to like totally relax! How uncomfortable it would be if I can't relax cuz I'm always so concerned about this and that Heh! Anws, just that amount and not overboard, I don't wanna be spouting nonsense when I reach there. And ):

I don't really like such occasions. (Oh gosh, yes yes, the always contradicting-herself Kristine) Ah, I know, I am actually schizophrenic, heh.

There are things that are on my mind now. But that shouldn't be the case because the A levels are popping by to say Hi in less than 15 days? GASPS. Alright, so off to History that I had placed aside for quite sometime! And then should say Hi to Math and Stats which I failed to complete yesterday, it was really hard and I contemplated asking the JC student opposite me.... But didn't. Maybe he wasn't JC, he didn't have a Graphic Cal. with him. Owells. . . . .

Anws, I am stuck in a dilemma!

Money money money, come my way and then I shall let you know who's Boss. Money money money, just what I need now to make my day better :D Yes, how superficial, but Sky, do let some money fall on me. :D

Ciao,

Perturbed Kris.

You Balance It

2010-10-21T20:56:00.003+08:00

And you ask why is this A levels student up here writing about nonsense. Yes nonsense. But all these thoughts, somehow, I needed to share!

Going to mark my Chemistry paper soon!

I felt so trapped. I don't see the need for me to go out of my way to please someone. Anyone, that is. Anyone. Unless, you mean deeply to me. But if you mean so deeply to me... There must be a reason, and I don't see why you would want me to feel uncomfortable and please you. Compromise. I can reciprocate, compromise, I can do a lot of things well. But then again, the real problem that lies with me... It would be the part of living life. I can't seem to really live life and understand the subtleties of life.

It may seem like I am doing kinda well.... But in fact, I am easily affected, but I just don't show those emotions. Those raw emotions, I don't show them just like that. I can't understand and feel for someone else.... ( Come to think of it... Maybe it's more of the I don't want to do that)

Okay, I can see people muttering, "Hell yeah, live a miserable live then Kris." Thank you very much I will.

Did I say! My cousin passed her math examinations! Am I elated or elated? Totally!

Mmm, one more thing on my mind. Don't regret your choice. It is you who pushed me away. And when you rethink why you get a cold shoulder, don't struggle and find or try to return to the position I had placed you at previously. They get occupied really fast. (The fact I am a needy soul, need to be surrounded by friends and everyone else)

I don't wait.

(Guess I really won't.)

Ciao,

Kris

P/s Oh, that bread and butter pudding... Before it went into the oven. Sigh, cant find the one where it came out of the oven. I wanna bake veges in milk soon :D

How It Feels To Fly - Alicia Keys

Have you ever felt so strong
That it made you feel weak
Long days
Long nights
And you just can't sleep

Have you ever been so sure
That it gave you cold feet
That felt all bare
You can feel your heart beat

Well I never knew this feeling never
Now I hope it stays and last forever
I am riding high
I don't want to come down
Hope my wings don't fail me now
And If I can touch the sky
I'd risk to fall just to know how it feels to fly

Have you ever felt so lost
But didn't know until you were found
Looking everywhere
What you finally see know

In the room full of people
Feels like no one's around
Got your head in the clouds
And your feet are off the ground

I Can't Lie - Maroon 5

2010-10-18T23:01:00.002+08:00

I Can't Lie - Maroon 5

I must have been a fool
To love you so hard for so long
So much stronger than before
But so much harder to move on

And now the bitter chill of the winter
Still blows through me like a plague
Only to wake up with an empty bed
On a perfect summer day

My world just feels so cold
And you find yourself
Walking down the wrong side of the road

I can't lie on my mind
Stuck inside my head
I wanna feel your heart beat for me instead, yeah
I just die so much inside
Now that you're not there
I wanna feel your heartbeat like yesterday

I never did my best to
Express how I really felt
And now that I know exactly what I want
You found somebody else

My world just feels so cold
And I find myself
Thinking about the things I could have done
And it warms my soul
When you let me know
I'm not the only one

Choosing to be Alone

2010-10-17T20:11:00.005+08:00

Three Random Pictures for the day.

Still hung up on the muffin making day. Evolution! Owells just 3 egg yolks :D And someone said it looked like puke. (I should be doing history now...)

Random stuff, I was just testing my camera, but I guess there's nothing wrong to be placing it here luhhhh (I wouldn't mind staying up the whole night doing stuff. Sleep is overrated)

Where I would totally be. Enjoying time and life and of course realization of myself.... Hopefully it happens there ... (I need to pack my table before I can start on anything)

Owells, Aishahhhhhhhhh! :( Can't wait for nuts.

There's this strong feeling in me to express my thoughts on why I would see myself moving out and staying alone when I reach age 21. (Maybe not so soon, I'd still have to see my financial capabilities!)

Yikes. Financial burden!

I have very low tolerance of people. I can't live with my family because of our differing views. This doesn't mean that I am constantly quarreling with them or anything like that. But it is more of how irritated I am of their way of thinking. I know I shouldn't be feeling that way, that is why I refrain from opening my mouth and actually voicing my thoughts.

Because I don't want to them to be unhappy. I mean, why add the unnecessary stress to the household... right? I don't want and don't have the right to be imposing my thoughts on them! Why should I do that?

I DO NOT HATE THEM, IN FACT I LOVE THEM SOOOO MUCH, I WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HURT THEM.... BUT I AM INDEED NOT REALLY HAPPY. It is quite a good thing if you can keep your emotions in and vent them somewhere else. Hahaha, like complain to my friends or whoever that is willing to hear me out!

And I need privacy. I don't like to be picked on. I dislike my mom coming into my room and asking my why my table is in a mess and commenting that if it's in a mess, how are you able to study... Or if I have my songs playing in the background, there is nagging again on how am I able to concentrate with my studies. I don't know how I am able to... But that is how I function, can't it just be like that? Owells.

You must be thinking, what nonsense is this all about, because these are all small and puny stuff that I shouldn't be considering. You'd be thinking like... What?! She wants to move out because of such stuff? Yea, I don't really know why there's this tremendous urge in me to move out, to somewhere I can find privacy. Did I say... My Dad had been warning me how foolish I am to think this way because, where else in the world beats having a family like the one I have now. Yea, yea. Yada. I totally understand... There's the laundry always done. There's the food that's always prepared for me. There's the human-human interaction and so I would never be lonely. But why am I not swayed by such persuasiveness? I don't know either.

Family. I love you, guys. But I realise loneliness isn't something that I am considering now. Is it very heartbreaking if my parents know that I don't really wanna stay with them, in this family? I think it is. (I can hear my gramma's voice ringing in my head: Why must you make things so difficult for yourself...??) I don't know, it's not difficult to me. I kinda like the way I hope things would be.

Never thought of distancing myself from the family.

Never will have those thoughts (:

Owells, all I've written, are just thoughts. Thoughts which I have learnt to keep well within myself and not hurt anyone. And I guess till that day, they will still remain as thoughts.

Pure thoughts.

Hello History, my lovely ICJ, here I come.

Goodbye :D

It's People That Matter

2010-10-15T21:49:00.008+08:00

Kris: If it didn't do you any good, it must have been really sad for you.

Okay... Some random pictures and a little more of this and that.

I am tired.

Aishah's cute liddle cat :D but she scratches and bites me if I touch her paws. And she purrrrrrrrrrrs~

Oh Pig, I choose you.

Hmmm?

Laughter, Fun and Love.

Maybe I did feel that bittersweet feeling during Graduation today.

I can't explain why I do actually feel so. I guess the struggle in this place makes it hard to leave it because you're all on your own again. So fast, way too fast... And now I am on my own already. But I should be glad that the sch has given me that something to ensure my survival in society?

I don't know what my life really revolved around for this 2 years of education. I've been reading about those notes that people post on Facebook about being grateful for what the school has done and how it has provided for them. There is no reason to deny all the benefits and everything else that the school has given me.... But everything went past way too fast, it's too blur to capture any moment that will stay with me. I know I have grown, to be more flexible and to be more matured. (This 2 years really changed me, really) But what would I hold on of this school after these 2 years? The friends? The teachings that the great teachers have passed on to me? Or? I don't know...

What has changed in me? (Maybe it went the direction I didn't want it to)

Maybe I am just a little slower... Maybe it will dawn on me soon enough (:

Alright, after all that emo talk, owells, not really emo but then ... Now I feel unsure. But I know I will step into the "real society" now. And I am sure it would be much harder than it is now. But then, it might be much more enjoyable because you're actually doing something that you want to.

And Weiwei was saying how her Lit teacher was telling them that A levels ain't your life. But if it gets you where your life is supposed to be... Doesn't it equate to life? Owells, all roads will lead to the said destination! I hope. So many ways and opportunities. I want to seize all of them.

(That English essay is still somewhere there undone.)

And History. So tired yet so awake. How can I say I'd rather be awake when I'm asleep.

Messed up brain of mine. I kinda miss people already. NO reason why so. Just feel so !

I can see myself going into MIA for the next 3 wks. All the best Krissy. You need a good rest now and be ready and up to fight all that you have to. :D

No regrets.

Never will there be regrets.

I am tired and I don't see a need to hold you back. I don't see a need to chase after you again and again for no apparent reason. I don't want to do that. For real, if you stay, you will be rewarded, if you choose to hang halfway at the doorway. I would kindly ask you to leave.

Loyalty does and will get rewarded. :D

Ciao.

(I need more maturity, more depth in my thoughts, more dimensions to all these thoughts and a better way to express them.)

What A Happy Face

2010-10-13T22:55:00.002+08:00

I've got peanut butter and bread and raisins and I think.... Why not let me make a happy face every morning for breakfast? So that my day would be a blessed and chirpy one :D

Owells, school ends at 7 or so for every single day. By saying that it's fine and I'm fine with it is quite the bullshit I would say. It's torturous. Why complain.

I need more sleep. But then ... I need more awake time. Awake time to relax. Sleeping is a chore now. I want the awake time...

To exercise!!!!

To hang out and laugh with friends

To shop

To eat slowly and have good meals

To slack in front of the tv

And to type a blog entry in a less rushed way.

Alright complain and complain non stop Kris, nothing will turn better if you continue doing that. So why don't you pick your butt up and actually what you're supposed to ... Even Mr Lim can like say... it's only 2 mnths. So can you, cuz time passes so fast, you wouldn't realise that everything is over and accomplished.

You know you've given in the 100% that many people think you haven't but fuck seriously, you only answer to yourself. Can't wait .... After a few more weeks of struggling, LA here I come. :D And then off to work and work and off to my life as a better person with a more matured mindset. And of course stop all imbecile things that I actually have going on.

A, can't wait to have fun with you!

I am prepared and alllllllllllllll ready for it!

:D Ciao

Your lips, Your lies, Your lust

2010-10-10T00:27:00.000+08:00

Anberlin - Feel Good Drag

I am lyricified so now, I can scream along with them!

Previous scream-along song was Closer To The Edge - 30 STM. But that made my Dad irritated and cynical. Owells!

Then the random pictures and the random ranting blogpost.

I feel like an auntie nowadays!

Jelly beans all tilted to one side. Grrraahhh, the camera. D:

How we would send Khairul into the oven after sprinkling all the black pepper onto him. Yay! Frankly speaking, it's quite disgusting because.... The soccer people and track people spit and perspire into the synthetic grass. You don't whose saliva you're picking up heh.

Heh, decided to show you guys my hair. Which of course means showing the whole world my bald spots. Damn the camera, I can't flip the pictures the right way. Owells.

Oh and Kris with a cute fatty face I like :D

Anws, front view not much of a diffff.... But you know what! I wonder how the Africans actually hang on with the hairstyle for soooooooooo long, I mean srly, it will itch and it will make you go like Grrrr. And then when you remove, hair drops exponentially. But that was like months ago. I have new hair now.

Hey, one of my Universal Studios picz. Didnt upload the album. And gawd, srly warm that day and so many people were there... Some rides had to queue for like 2 hours or smth.

Hi there people! Decided to put some pictures up because I am sooooo lazy to do anything with Facebook and putting my pictures up. I think I'm going to be firm with my decision and deactivate that account of mine.

Yes it is deactivated. :D Now on with my daily life.

And I don't know why I decided to blog.. For no real reason when I should be studying. Oh then I remember. It was because of the lousy testimonial I had to churn out. Damned. Shitty I'd say. How to write soooo many words (550 words) about yourself and your good qualities. I mean everyone has a few but then sooooo many words, after writing it. I am quite embarrassed Hahaha!

Did I mention how bad today's weather was? Phew. So godamned fucking warm I'd say! D: Yuck. Really. And while writing my testis (heheh), I felt so pissed w my current life yuk! :S

Positive mindset Krissy!

Altruism Krissy :D

Yay and I love the world (provided you're in it, yes yes, you the one that is looking at the screen now, if not how would I live my days!!! :D) All those out there who are willing to support my big fat ass, I love you guys :D

Ciao

(I'm in love with your sins, your littlest sins)

Belated Post for a Yay Bday!

2010-09-27T18:42:00.006+08:00

Happy Birthday Aishah :D

(Alright I know the post is 1 day late!)

Anws, I realised we didn't get a group group kinda photo. I plucked some out and Hahahha, I love the one right under this paragraph! Cuz it looks so disorganised and funny! And weird imagine them dancing the tai ke moves ._.

Then I guess this is one that I can get with most people inside and Shana looks toooo high!

Ah, and did I mention how I got to know more friends and great people. Mmmm, Olivia, Fuhua, Denise, Shana... But didn't really got to know the 3 sisters who left real early. The guys I don't really know but there was Ignatius, Zakid(?)(Malay guy with specs, don't really know how to spell that name), Ash, Aaron, . . . . . . Jiyong. . . . . (thinking, thinking, thinking...). . . . Thomas and his buncha friends. . . . . . Alex

Ahh, brain stalled that's all I guess. (but then again, I realise how socialising isn't really my kinda stuff but hey things loosen up with alcohol, don't they?)

Can't seem to save the birthday cake's pic from FB. Grrrarh. Always that fabulous eh the cake. Prettttttty!

Happy Bday :D

Can't wait for our trip and of course don't be sad ever again for such stuff alright. Owells! It was your day so let's just all fuck care cuz you have every right to do so :D

Then we ended all of it @ 4 and stared @ the ceiling by 5 and got up by 7 and had nice noodles in the morning. What more is actually better than that. And of course watching How I Met Your Mother. And then cutting frozen mooncakes! Owells. If days go by like how we do plan it.... It will totally ROCK.

Random thoughts that are way tooooo random to conclude anything.

Anws, .... Sometimes I'm also not sure if the feeling is mutual. I mean if it's as good as it is. Or maybe it's not. Owells.

Whatever!...... Is not for losers! Guess I did it the right way :D

Studies studies studies FTW. So pardon my disappearance! MIA is totally necessary!

Gwen Stefani - 4 In The Morning

I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

Regrets are not in your Dictionary

2010-09-26T22:05:00.002+08:00

Sometimes you don't know you acted that way. And you feel that jealousy in you... Because you thought you guys had a special connection. But then seeing how it doesn't feel so, you got all angsty and pissed and you tell yourself yea fuck care. Cuz maybe after all there wasn't anything at all.
You see that person actually enjoying and mingling. Ahhhh, you realise it's just your selfish streak! Cuz you set the rules, you can't break your own rules. And end up torturing yourself inside. Hahah. Do they call that extra big pride that cannot be placed down heh heh. Aiyah. Fuck. Nonchalant okay! Blooody selfish and bitchy kris.
Just say it if you actually want it. If not then don't bother and try to tug and the strings. Or put out bait or what.

Urgh, you make yourself regret lousy poot poot you.
Regrets what you hate. Never make the same mistakes! Ahhhh, constant ranting but they say what that happens there stays there. Yay.

Cannot cuz you were the one who said nothing nothing and hahah. Joker kris.

End.

Received What I Deserved

2010-09-25T02:01:00.003+08:00

What that doesn't kill you makes you stronger and the fact that you're a survivor.... Makes you wanna celebrate. And of course after the self-questioning you rejoice and say at least you're done and over with it.

Kris you're a survivor and you know you can battle it out the next time round.
What you do want is having no regrets and that makes you feel relieved.

What a trauma and now you know how you shouldn't be complacent and take things for granted yeap (:
You're sure of your decisions cuz there's no sucha word as regrets in your dictionary.

And of course you realise how many people around you do actually care and you feel even more loved than the fact you know that you are already loved. Now you question whether sympathy and some of it should be given to the less loved. Maybe... Of course if they're deserving !

Party tmr night freakin cant wait and yayyyyyy and LALALALALALA. DONT LEAVE TAKE ME WITH YOU. SO WE CAN PLANT 50000000 MORE MEMORIES TOGETHER (:

CIAOZ AND HAPPY BDAY A (loves many many much much and yay)

Must Get Out

2010-09-11T21:52:00.000+08:00

"Must Get Out"

I've been the needle and the thread
Weaving figure eights and circles round your head
I try to laugh but cry instead
Patiently wait to hear the words you've never said

Fumbling through your dresser drawer forgot what I was looking for
Try to guide me in the right direction
Making use of all this time
Keeping everything inside
Close my eyes and listen to you cry

[Chorus:]
I'm lifting you up
I'm letting you down
I'm dancing til dawn
I'm fooling around
I'm not giving up
I'm making your love
This city's made us crazy and we must get out

This is not goodbye she said
It is just time for me to rest my head
She does not walk she runs instead
Down these jagged streets and into my bed

When I was
Fumbling through your dresser drawer forgot what I was looking for
Try to guide me in the right direction
Making use of all this time
Keeping everything inside
Close my eyes and listen to you cry

[Chorus]

There's only so much I can do for you
After all of the things you put me through

[Chorus x2]

I'm not giving up
I'm making your love
This city's made us crazy and we must get out

Maroon 5

Lacking In....?

2010-08-21T00:31:00.003+08:00

by Joseph Wardy

Generosity

A random act of kindness,
Volunteering to help others,
Refusing to judge others,
Donating money to help a cause.
Generosity..without an agenda.

Calmness in the midst of stress,
Positive humor to weather the storm,
Generosity...a gift from the Heart.

Hello World. I am back on the net. KM is not working so I can't upload my SGC.

Ahhh, so many qualities that I lack. Sometimes I feel irritated and give that "aloofness" is just 'cos I want and I am envy of simple qualities that make mankind so beautiful.

I don't deny that I am in the .... DARK side of this world. Ugh, it's horrible... to know that you are not very nice and amicable in the inside and yet not being able to change it. ):

Player - Baby Come Back

2010-08-09T11:19:00.002+08:00

Spending all my nights,
All my money going out on the town
Doing anything just to get you off of my mind
But when the morning comes,
I'm right back where I started again
Trying to forget you is just a waste of time

Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you

All day long, wearing a mask of false bravado
Trying to keep up the smile that hides a tear
But as the sun goes down, I get that empty feeling again
How I wish to God that you were here

Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you

Now that I put it all together
Give me the chance to make you see
Have you used up all the love in your heart
Nothing left for me, ain't there nothing left for me

Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you

How could you...

2010-07-25T22:04:00.002+08:00

How could you...

Have said that my hair smelt great when i used a scentless shampoo?
Felt so sure yet turned a blind eye?
Never thought that I liked sneaking around?
Never ever understand the circumstances that I am in?
Never think that I would realise how much more I would need to hold you by me?
Not be the best memories I ever had?
Never see I was with that juvenile thinking then?
Not see that I cherished...

Sometimes not seeing the big picure is a sorta blessing heh.

Studies ROX!

Came up just to reminesce about the past... Wonder if I typed that word with the correct spelling!

Nevermind, ciao~

Slice It How You Want It

2010-07-08T22:00:00.003+08:00

Did I say...

I had a room at Marina Bay Sands yesterday night which was - 07/07/10

Some of the picz. Had family, Der, bro and his friends over. Soccer match. In the end only Bro and his friends stayed to watchhhh!

Hurhur, of course is see Kris first laaaaaa, so long nv see her !

Me and blur Der.

Dam blooody comfy toilet. "Mommmy I want one at home!" The toilet's rly nice :D

Me and dearest loveliest Mommy!

Me and wonderful Dadddd :D

Maybe I shouldn't be here.... Wait I shouldn't be here. I should be doing up that biology essay. That history essay...

Sudden emptiness made me have that urge to blog. But emptiness blogs emptiness. There's really nothing to write, how this emptiness came about, I have no idea either. It's all internal. Mr Nah said like you will have to find yourself. Reflect and the Kristine feels that her true self is quite scary. Somewhat too practical, too realistic to actually be existing. How cold, how straightforward, how careless.

Haha, then again, that's what true and how can you not like that thing you call "truth"...

It's getting messed up. I should leave.

Need a diary to get my thoughts in an orientated way instead of coming up to rant aimlessly.

Rarrrhhhhh, fun needed. All candidates welcomed!

Ciao, luv.

Time Management - L.O.S.T.

2010-06-27T22:11:00.002+08:00

I am supposed to be studying.

But I feel like giving up. Owe it to bad time management and the Kris that can resist to anything but temptation. Ugh.

Bio paper tomorrow. Not touched so many topics. Selective mugging is of no use now as well. Like what! Select what?! You haven't touched on much! Howww.... ICS?!!!! ): The irritating thing is the helplessness! Like you want to study but you have no time to do so ): And... you can't do anything about it.

Apparently, scheduled procrastination is not a very feasible idea for me.

I want to cry but .... I should just learn from my lessons, shouldn't I?

What is it that is actually going through my brain now? Nuts. I mean like crazy crazy not hazel nuts. Ahhhh, but macadamia nuts yummmm :D

Did I mention, after all these while, Hist paper is tmr too. Ciao~

The Cold War is calling out to me.

The DNA ICS is calling out to me.

The diversity and natural selection is calling out for me!

AND THE MATH AND CHEM THAT WILL STRANGLE ME SOON.

I AM PREPARED FOR THE WORST. THE MOST SUCKYYYY FEELING OF MY LIFE IS TO NOT BE IN CONTROL OF THE SITUATION AND NOT BEING ABLE TO SALVAGE IT BUT TO SIT AND STARE AS IT GOES TO FAILURE.

Whines~ I really cannot tahan this feeling ): ): ):

Adios

Wanna Shout It Out Loud

2010-06-14T22:22:00.005+08:00

Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Woah, woah
Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now, I just need you now

Oh baby, I need you now

For the ones who know it themselves,

Love,

Kristine

What A Wonderful World

2010-06-05T21:37:00.005+08:00

Okay this entire post is jumbled uppp.

What really happened is that I was attached to the Singapore Zoological Gardens for a Job Shadowing Programme and I gladly announced that I was dispatched to the Reptile Section to work at! (I kinda chose it voluntarily)

Therefore, here I've posted the 4 kinds of reptiles you can find under the Reptile heading! First we have the tortoises, then the snakes, the lizards and the crocodilians (:

I had to handle snakes and lizards and tortoises.... I feel so blessed haha.

New found love for the snakes. Cute and cuddly yes. Except the King Cobra you see there, one of the most venomous (apparently, they don't use the word poisonous so yea..) snakes ard. It's been found out that even elephants collapse when bitten by one of those. But when an ele (Cher calls it like a friend) steps on you, you get too crushed to err bite back I hope. Ele's feet skin is horribly thick too I think hahah!

Ahhh, so one week of intern. Just ended today. And I can say I really didn't and couldn't bear to leave the place... I formed attachment with it! And the staff there of course. ): Now I miss the bearded dragoooonnnn ): and the mutated snake. and and and... So manyyyyyy ):

Handling snakes I just love it and I wish I could hold onto and play with the snake the entire dayyyyyyy but aww.

I loved Giant Tortoise (the one in the pic you see below...) Interaction Time in the afternooons! So fun! Can see all the kids that are freaked out by the giant tortoise! D: When in the first place they were the ones that say, mommy mommy mommy I want to feed the tortoise, please!!!

Haha, and the iguanas... The kan cheong couple there! Hahah, owells. Oh yaaa, reasons why I can't put up pictures I took behind the scene cos it is deemed as the property of the Zoo... So I don't really wna get into this Zoo's Volunteer Breeched Her Contract kinda saga.

Hurhur, enjoy the pics. I tell u the King Cobra standing up with its flaps open is the most beautiful thing you'd wanna see really! Maybe that the reason why I kept wanting to agitate it behind the glass doors haha!

Fun fun fun~ all I can say!

Don't ask just yet.

Sorry for not blogging for so long, didn't mention at the start but....

It's just that life is so hectic now, I kinda love it, but whenever things go slowww~ Sink into this slower pace, I just fall face down FLAT. Cos the rush rush and fun fun things disappear, I fall dead tired like kabummm! (:

I kinda like that feeling.

You may be wondering why the picture of lovely white tigers there. It's cos when I searched the zoo's logo to place it in this post, this tiger came out more than the logo and..... -.- this means that the white tigers are like synonymous to the zoooo~

Anyways, enough of the zoo internship! I just had dinner with the family at Crab Party. Long time since we had everyone seated at the table for a meal and I realised how little my family eats and Mommy just couldn't stop asking me to stop eating cos she says that I will grow fat. I admit that I am not thin, but I want to eat so........ ! I know after that I will feel all remorseful for eating that yummy but!!!! Who cares... (oops, dilemma, I care!)

Nevermind, then later I was sooooo full that I went to walk ard the neighbourhood. The kids playing bball at the CC. So young and full of nonsense, I could just sit thr listen and laugh and wondering if I were talking about such stuff when I was a Pri sch kid... that distant memory!

Er, can't think of what to blog but that I want to go to SMUN too,

why I don't hv a fen shen shu! hahah, I want to appear everywhere and anywhere trying all the countless things that I can. I dowan to be trapped in boring life!

Passion!

Love!

Faith!

All which I need to make my life ~ GREAT.

FTW live for the passion!

Greatly inspired. (But inspiration do wear off, so I think I shd start working hard ... If not it will wear off even before I start feeding on it! Hur)

Passion!

Ciao

Kris

Alone thoughts in the Aloneworld

2010-05-25T15:29:00.006+08:00

Like a thousand pictures and so few words...

What can I say, all the pictures and pictures and pictures of food food food...

Happy Birthday Uncle Gerald.

(that's not shit, that's doggie treats which stink.)

Ahhh lazy...

Bye, off to my afternoon nappppppppppppp!

So many things so few know and so much people confirm with their perception. D: It's not even how it is that you think. It's really more than meets to eye, but why would I share my problems when none can do anything to help. Furthermore, I'm condemned to coldheartedness.

Am I starting to change? Is the change good or detrimental?

Owells, no one knows till I try. Once you take the step ahead, hopefully there's a road to turn back, I don't want regrets. But such simplistic ways never seem to happen in real life.

Ciao

(beat the laptop before it went flat!)

Scream if you're doing fine!

2010-05-17T20:00:00.003+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Screamed cos I'm doing real fine :D) !!!

Never mind, shall this post be one full of random ideas! It's just what's floating in my head plucked out fresh and raw all presented here.

And of course, more of those random pictures I happen to get online!

Today's picture's theme would be: DECISIONS!

Err, I think this one applies to most of us... No in fact, all of us.

Then this cute little boy... How I wish decisions we make would be that simple and that satisfying. The decisions we make should still turn out sweet because no matter what, there's still this ice cream there. Wait.... On second thoughts, don't stand there to decide for too long, all the ice cream melts just like that opportunity that slips away all the time :D

Just be prepared for the consequences. There are sweet consequences... Aren't there?

Next thing on mind - Monogamy.

In years to come, do you think that monogamy would still hold true in this human race? Or would the animals with their mating rituals be the only monogamous ones? Lol. It's so hard to think that there is a possibility of growing old together and be faithful like forever. It's hard to do so, or... Maybe it's exceptionally hard for me, I think so. Never mind. Divorce rates are soaring ever soooooo HIGH.

Next thing on mind - The thought of using someone else irks me.

Hard to believe I'd say something like that. But recently, am sick of this evil always boiling inside of me. And I was so disgusted with myself for leeching on me friend that I couldn't get to sleep. Like I was going to get nightmares. I swear it felt that bad like someone took this part of me out that I felt sooooo empty.

I can't vouch that I will never use my friend or anybody again. But I will try to cut down on that. I promise. I will like not be such a parasite, albeit they say that leeches help you like suck away the bad/sour blood in you. :) But I won't be a parasite. Cos we just get stuck there and keep fucking sucking non-stop. My conscience can't take it no more.... (No, maybe I can still take quite a lot of it, but before I use 'em up... Shall like reserve some for the more needy future!)

Last thing on my mind - Famous bloggers seem to be those that talk about current affairs. Haha, that's what Mommy said!

Last night, went to watch Iron Man 2 with Mommy at Lido... (Thought it was at Great World City and I wore super chapalang clothes... I felt embarrassed!) Never mind. Mommy was telling me how this guy struck rich by blogging how he felt the government was inadequate in dealing with stuff (BTW, this is some China guy story). And since the government wants a more liberal country, it's trying not to pose such censorships and what not. So this guy's not really clamped down, but gained many followers. So he struck rich by I don't know how. Maybe all these while my Mom bullshitted me, Hahaha, I don't know bout that.

So may my days never allow me to be a popular blogger. My personal life seems more important than the country is run for now!

Teenage woes, teenage thoughts, teenage rebel.

I love being a teenager.

But all these days gonna be gone soon and I won't be able to give lame excuses and crap to cover my own bare ass...

^^ She's improving and of course on the way to great health!

Ciao

Overseas, why not?

2010-05-13T22:07:00.002+08:00

Totally clueless of what to blog.

Like totally living in my own realm. Where's reality?

Sinking deep deep deep down into that rut again, wonder how long I need to pluck my entire self up again... The fact now I don't have those people who I wish I had around me. Shan't sound so pessimistic and whiney. What's staring right at you is indeed staring right at you!

People who succeed are those who fall down 10 times and still manage to stand up at the last fall.

Ciao

Off to do those horrible work! All piled up at a corner. Now, bio is the only love and I cannot wait for my Zoo Intern! Why so long then come !

Complete!

2010-05-07T16:59:00.001+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~

ZOO INTERNSHIP PROGRAMME IS MINE!

My life is complete now.

Ciao

Eenie Meenie

2010-05-05T21:28:00.001+08:00

Sean Kingston

Justin Bieber

Eenie Meenie -

LYRICS
(Sean)
Eenie meenie miney mo
Catch a bad chick by her toe
If she holla (if, if, if she holla) let her go

Shes indecisive
She cant decide
She keeps on lookin
From left to right

Girl, cmon get closer
Look in my eyes
Searchin is so wrong
Im Mr. Right

You seem like the type
To love em and leave em
And disappear right after this song.
So give me the night
To show you, hold you
Dont leave me out here dancin alone

You cant make up your mind, mind, mind, mind, mind
Please dont waste my time, time, time, time, time
Im not tryin to rewind, wind, wind, wind, wind
I wish our hearts could come together as one

Cause shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova

(Justin)
Let me show you what your missin
Paradise
With me youre winning girl
You dont have to roll the dice
Justin Bieber Eenie Meenie lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com.com/justin-bieber-eenie-meenie-lyrics.html
Tell me what youre really here for
Them other guys?
I can see right through ya

You seem like the type
To love em and leave em
And disappear right after the song.
So give me the night
To show you, hold you
Dont leave me out here dancin alone

Cant make up your mind
Please dont waste my time
Not tryin to rewind
I wish our hearts could come together as one

Cause shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova

(Sean)
Eenie meenie miney moe
Catch a bad chick by her toe
If she holla (if, if, if she holla) let her go
Eenie meenie miney moe
Catch a bad chick by her toe
If she holla (if, if, if she holla) let her go

Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova

Cant make up your mind
Please dont waste my time
Not tryin to rewind
I wish our hearts could come together as one

True as it can be

2010-05-02T22:23:00.002+08:00

I just love today. Time spent all alone. Alone but happily alone? Haha, didn't feel lonely, felt more like a well deserved break :D

Ugh, no sense of urgency at all............ Dam these long weekends, so much work undone, even much more work than usual!

Then maybe when you have undisturbed time alone, more thought processes you have :)

Am I too liberal?

Am I too accepting to innovation and new thinking?

What are my boundaries?

To what extent can I tolerate?

My conclusion, it doesn't matter, it didn't matter in the first place... So as long as I find it justifiable to myself. So as long as I can accept what I am doing, the way I'm doing things, I'm fine with it. You can call me bitchy or whatever....

At least I learn from mistakes. (:

Alright, ciao.

Long weekends, maybe I'll go watch House M.D. or I don't know.............? Clash of the Titans? Hahah, cos Arjuna just watched it and with such coincidence, my mom just got the disc as well :D Of course, it's the classic one, not that one that was up in the movies recently.

See ya guys to my perfectly lonely weekend!

Oh, tmr it's sooooooooooooooo exciting -- LAN with Chow and ZYan :D

Ciao

Shoutout to The World

2010-04-28T23:15:00.004+08:00

Yo kids,

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY TO HUIMIN :D

sorry these late wishes! Apparently the pics just got onto FaceBook, I had to rip them off to place lovely them in my blog!

All of SSPTT :D omgosh, love them ttm despite only staying for a year!

The closer batch of girls! (Once again, I feel like the reasons on why I left wasn't really justified. Awesomelyz great bunch ! )

Me and Shan Shan! So rare right, one proper picture with Shan is like can wait a thousand years till my flesh rot into my bones... Err

Cool, the guys and the girls of our batch! Except for the other guy Nathaniel. The one that never seemed to fit in. Maybe its supposed to be even numbers after all!

Finally, my favourite picture of the day! I love this "threesome" picture! Super nostalgia (ugh, after typing this, I think of Cher asking me to move on, get over and carry on with life!) But nostalgia, how come I always feel like the life before the life I am having now is way better?!

Owells, guess I'm heading off to swim tmr :D

Ugh, haven't done any work today and it's late (but I just don't care, oops)! Time will soon run out and we'll see ourselves trying non-stop to catch up with what's ahead! Never mind, I think I still have the leeway to relax.

(My fishy is looking hungry... It's swimming around hungrily! But I'm way too lazy to be feeding it because it only devours the red pellets in the dry food mixture, but I have the mixed one... Means that I have to separate them before I feed it to them. If not the green ones that they don't eat will start to cloud the water!) DAMN.

Oh and I wanted to say how Big Mac rocks and then puts me in debt, I owe Vanessa kaching for my Big Macs. D:

Okie, I shall be a lil fishy and just keep swimming, just keep swimming... till I reach the goggles which reads: P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sydney (smth like that if I'm not wrong!)

Things off my chest, I feel much better :)

But then again, I doubt everything. Shall never do things I don't like and shall never force myself to do things that won't turn out beneficial for me. Shall be as strong-minded as I have always been.

So Crazily addicted to John Mayer and his brilliant song lyrics. Call me a sucker for great lyrics and music.

Friends, lovers, or nothing
We can really only ever be one
Friends, lovers, or nothing
Don't you know
We'll never be the in-between
So give it up

No, we'll never the in-between
So give it up

Anything other than yes is no
Anything other than stay is go
Anything less than I love you is lying

Excerpt from Friends, Lovers or Nothing - John Mayer

NIGHTS :D

Ciao.

Own Time Own Pace

2010-04-26T00:00:00.002+08:00

Wait a min, isn't there more to life than what I am experiencing now?

I want to pon all the classes and then still get A... Wait, but that doesn't happen right! hurhur, sorry I was just whining.

Am heading off to bed in a while's time...

So many things unsolved.

So many things unsaid.

So many things put aside.

So many things that I'm upset about...

Yet so many things I'm happy and satisfied with,

now, wait, so which ones overrules the other?

That's for me to decide!

Anyways, time to change the water of my fishys, lest I want them to suffocate and get their gills clogged up with their own shit!

She's had enough, so.......

Ciao :D

What's Your Sign?

2010-04-18T22:51:00.006+08:00

Wanted to find nice pictures. Then I found this cute little one! Fingers are happy being together, just like my index and middle fingers .... -.- but hey, it's cute alright.

I know I shouldn't be wasting my time online doing nothing. But I'm having a really bad flu and headache ): Boo, I don't like it, no one likes it.

Anyways, I am a fickle-minded to the max person and it is eating the shit out of me. I don't want to put in effort and I want to rip the benefits. How can anyone stand me? Please tell Kris that she is a leech, and she is actually detrimental to the people around her.

She wants everything in life. She wants perfection = impossible.

She's trying to change, but Kristine is like that. I mean, that's the core of me, if I change the core of me... Kris wouldn't be Kris anymore right. I think I am a little toned down now, not having much fun, not a very fun person myself now. I'm just tired. I don't have enough time for the world and time waits for no man but I'm a woman, please wait for me........ ):

Ah, then me found another nice picture. Cool eh :D

I don't know what I should be blogging about after all, it's not a very private life up here. I just wanna keep everything low profile and then just be happy whenever I can. Life's really just too demanding and everything I do now isn't what I really want to do. But I guess I can only think that what I am doing now would bring me what I want in the future. Kris, all the best.

Why is it that I can only engage with you when we're side by side.

Don't change me. Accept me.

Kris signs off thinking how she's done so much things that aren't really what she would do. And change.... scares her, she doesn't want to and don't think there is a need to.

Ciao

Have You Ever?

2010-04-11T15:41:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt this way?

Pink - Glitter In The Air

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don't care?

It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run
The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar
You called me sugar

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight

I haven't and maybe I won't get to feel it that way you want me to.

Ingredients to My Cookbook

2010-04-07T22:16:00.005+08:00

I want to return to the Kris I knew.

I was contemplating if I should actually be blogging now. The competitions are tomorrow and I kinda think I should be either sleeping, doing my work or cranking my mind on some other stuffs than what I should be blogging about.

Tomorrow's match.... Should I even mention about it? Didn't I say, "Think so much for what! Just close eyes and chiong luhhhh!"

So I guess that's what I am gonna do! Then if I bang into a wall or something, I shall open my eyes, rub my forehead, alter my course of direction, then close eyes to chiong all over again! Isn't that a cool thing to be doing?!

Please justify my thoughts.

These few days were really grueling. I felt like I needed to be alone. Alone so that I can just stone and keep my brain empty for an hour or two. Somehow I can't and didn't seem to get much of my alone time. All used up in sleeping and eating and engaging in superficial talk. Why! I don't see much a point in life to be living this way. I acknowledge how whiney I was the past few days, but for god's sake, spare me the agony of nagging back at me and just let me whine... Whine till my guts actually spill out.

Never mind, all the nonsense talk up there...

Work, yes I am lagging behind

Table tennis, yes I'm not at my very best

Brain, it's rather packed with thoughts but they aren't flowing so they don't get processed.

I feel so distant from the people around me actually.

I really don't want to engage in superficial talk anymore, either I make a point or I shut my mouth. But somehow I think that will not be possible, for I am someone superficial. Am I not? Everyone thinks I'm a kid. Then I guess I should be one, so as to satiate them.

Ugh, going round in circles and complaining about my life... Why don't I just live with it, smile, earn more money so I can spend if I want to and not cringe because I haven't enough in that wallet of mine?!

Money, money, money

I want to return to the Kris that I knew.

The one where money mattered most.

Table tennis mattered most.

Studies mattered most.

The one who could careless of what is happening around her and indulge herself in her own fantasies, build great sandcastles in her mind! The one who knew who she really is. The one who had the Guts to do things she never thought she could. The one who never did hesitate.

Where's Kris?

For now,

Superficial Kris signs off,

Ciao

Won't Stop Turning

2010-03-29T22:21:00.009+08:00

And the world around us won't stop turning tonight.

I cannot live in a dysfunctional family and it's taking a toll on me ):

I don't know who I really love now.

Sorry for being so whiney.

Today's like a really long and sluggish day for me............. Tmr have biology CT. I don't like it at all. Oh and that Chemistry staring at me. Can I make a small cute lil nest with my snuggly lil blanket and then just hide in it and never come out? Never mind my fat butt sticking at and that the whole world knows that I'm shunning them?!

): ): ): TTM

I shall list out all my misfortunes today (most of them created by myself):

Lost my lovely game of table tennis, too fast I could hardly rmb
Feels like the ankle hurtz...
.....

Apparently that's all and it has affected me greatly so I shall put them here on the blog, head off to bathe and smile a thousand times over till.... my face gets stuck at that position.

Cher cher cher, awesomez, need you SIA!

Miss ya ttm and also, I go ask the watch soon alright! ^^

Edge of Desire - John Mayer

Young and full of running
Tell me where has that taken me?
Just a great figure eight or a tiny infinity?

Love is really nothing
But a dream that keeps waking me,
For all of my trying
We still end up dying, how can it be?

Don't say a word just come over and lie here with me,
'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see,
I want you so bad, I'll go back on the things I believed,
There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me.

So young and full of running, all the way to the edge of desire
Steady my breathing, silently screaming,
"I have to have you now"
Wired and I'm tired
Think I'll sleep in my clothes on the floor
Maybe this mattress will spin on its axis and find me on yours

Don't say a word just come over and lie here with me
'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see
I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me

Don't say a word just come over and lie here with me
'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see
I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me

Ciao

Onions Onions Onions

2010-03-26T21:44:00.003+08:00

Yay, I need to say the pictures can be uploaded and...... I shall just list stuff out by events alright :D

Sorry have to see my disgusting face at the start of the post... Edited post, the part I wrote at first, it's all the way down at the bottom :O

My favourite fish! I will luv the person who buys this fish for me... If you know where to find it, I always head over there to look at it look at me! And I love it!

That time tyco tyco met Cher at the temple! Miss her ttm!

Dino! Dino! Dino! :D :D :D Eat too much of them my teeth start to decay!

^^ All the eggs in the worldddddddddddddddddddd !

That time when thr was this massive cleaning!

When my house didn't have the sofa cos the new one was coming :D Oh and the hee.... New grey walls which I love compared to the orange ones previously!

DOU DOU XIAN SHENG

Bio Lab! Nth better to do! No I suggested it, luckily everyone was willing to take :D

! Old wrinkly lovely gloved hands.......

Silver Mirror! :D mine mine mine!

! :D Jing Han's Silver mirror, bloooody nice !

Fehling's solution with Propanal(Blue) and Propanone(reddish brown)!

Beautiful Fehling Solution

This one I forgettttttttttttttttttttttt

Favey Bimzy

My Fried Rice dinner with much much chilli. :D I luvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv the sambal chilli!

But We all love Macs and we are westernised!

SPARKS TO THE SPARKS! 2010. OUR ALL MIGHTY TEAM CONSISTED LILING, SCOTT, AH SHAN, VAN, KRIS.

Scott the hand.

Some freaking hands on that needed us to build some spaghetti tower that is stuck tgt by Marshmallows! Lol, USE MARSHMALLOWS LIKE BLUE TACK!

Wonderful team. (swear I laugh a lot and v happy that day !)

Famous/Infamous lil snow kids. One was Mr Marshmallow, the other was Mrs Marshmallow. They eloped and ended up in a dilapidated church to get married :D

AHHHHHHH, much more satisfying after I've given all these happy pictures a place to stay in... Which is my blog of course!

Ciao

/Previously:

Fascinated and in love with onions.

But I haven't been farting excessively. Neither do I have awfully stale breath.

Wanted to enter this entirely long long long long long post. Like the longest post of the century. But then the phone won't connect to the computer which makes me ZZZ because all the cute pictures of everyone is in the phone! Sparks pictures, today's Bio lab experiment pictures with my group. So many, the few that I have listed.

Owells. Next time round then!

Kris is doomed for loneliness for the rest of her life.

Ciao

Alone Time Is Very Much Needed

2010-03-20T12:21:00.003+08:00

Don't know what to do

Don't know where to go

Don't know who to ask

Don't know when to go

Don't know how to do

All the don't knows add up to sitting in front of the television, thinking of all the things that I haven't done. But then again, secretly smiling, telling myself, this is the life I enjoy... The slack way of life.

The rain outside just keeps falling and I stay at home enjoying the cool weather, I like. Don't ever wanna leave the house, don't ever wanna get up from this wonderful couch...

Ahh, to think that life can be this simple. I'd like to think that the future wouldn't be me working my guts out but me enjoying everyday of my life doing the things I like... But then again, I don't wanna be worried about the money factor. Owells, I guess it's just me and my gibberish, I think money would still be my biggest aim in life!

I want to rollerblade. That is a statement that's not going to come true today. It's raining cats and dogs. Sometimes I think a person needs a good command of language so as to express his or herself (Not saying that I have some really great linguistic abilities.... But, yea). I think I am still able to say how I feel and what not. Some things are just so hard to be perfect.

I wanna be perfect. Please don't tell me that no one is perfect. I'll just be perfect in my POV, I'll just be the perfect I hope to be. This means I'm not conquered but others' comments and thoughts. No I won't be shaken by them. I know what life's to me, because it's my life, so what if I screw it up, it's my own life that I screw up. Somehow, I have that faith in me that I won't screw my life up...

After all these lame talk, actually, I'm still not very sure of the path I'm eventually going to take in life. It's just go as the flow brings me. Just float around, make my point and be happy. (: So what if I fall and get thrown off my feet? Just let me fall, I promise I will stand up on my own and.... Realise. Understand how life is supposed to be. Don't protect me, I don't need that. I'll fall, I'll stand. I'll stand up so as long as I've fallen. But of course, I'd look before I fall..... Let's say, I'll make a calculated fall.

Don't really need anyone in my life now.

Kris should be contented with life.

Adios

No, Won't Fall Into That Cat.

2010-03-15T00:28:00.003+08:00

Cher, miss you ttm. Miss last time ttm. Miss the days when the guys we talk about weren't them 2. Owells. Affected by the change that you mentioned ha, but it doesn't really matter, really. Owells. Cher what if we matured through time and all this shit is just shit. I mean, what if I try too hard not to fall into that cat and then try too hard to be ME and then I happen to look and be like someone that is ZZZ and superficial.

Wonder if it sounds familiar...

One thing I know, I won't ever be so. Yea, but then again, I might. Just a little I guess. It should be fine I assume.

Most important thing in my life now would really be my studies. Now that I am really sure of what I want and whatever... I should work towards my goal and just be so. I mean, work extra hard. I rly don't want any regrets, as I've said the umpteenth time.

I need a life for real

I reckon that only happens once my godamned fucking A levels are finally over !!! Bitch, why am I in such a cranky mood?!

Adios

Had a Lil Bit Too Much

2010-03-14T11:35:00.005+08:00

All the people start to rush by, I think I had a lil bit too much.

Ah, I didn't know blog posts affect. Owells. Just to mention, not everything is as it seems. Some times just so to satiate someone, things are posted on blogs. Doesn't really mean anything but if it does satisfy, why not. We make compromises every single day and so what if it goes against what's true in you. So what if it contradicts every thought in that godamned mind of yours. Does it matter, so as long the person thinks you mean it?

Owells. Why am I blog hopping and actually being concerned about some fucked up comment. Never mind. I ain't gonna be so conscious about it.

I live as a facade. I am a facade. What's true in me, who will ever know? Just because sometimes I don't know why I do things this way or that.

Kris, you are seriously too concerned about your environment. Please be a hermit and just coop up in your own little mud house.

!!!

One big thing that I'm fed up with this world is that........... 24 HOURS OF TIME IS WAY TOOOOOOO LITTLE! CAN I BUY THAT 25HOUR WATCH? Ugh, but one hour more isn't sufficient for the things I want to complete. So many agendas, so little time, so much energy left. Need more that what I've bargained for.

Ah Krissy, just be contented with life. You know you wanna be alone and not being tied down by the people around you. You want that life that no reports to be made. No apologizing. I hate apologizing. I don't apologize, I do things that are reasonable and practical, need no apologizing. Need no explanation. I don't want you to bog me down with your life and then put a string on my ankle and chain me to that pole over there. I wanna be a kite that soars with no strings attached please.

I don't want/need to answer for my own actions. I take my responsibilities as it comes.

You don't dictate my life, never.

(With much unhappiness and GRRRRR)

Xoxo,

Kris

Career Options...

2010-03-01T22:28:00.001+08:00

Anyone interested to attend this seminar with me?

I'll try to find another way

2010-02-25T22:50:00.003+08:00

What's there for me to grasp onto?

(A picture which feeds you with a more than a thousand words.)

We tend to react differently to different people... I mean why not, they're different after all. So as long as you're clear of the direction you're adopting.

It doesn't mean that when we shift in our beliefs at that moment, we're to be seen as having double standards. The simplest thoughts that one can process usually doesn't get processed. That is why there's so much frustration in this world.

Ah, again, but I like this phrase: Too few bullets for too many Idiots out there.

Adios

Never know when She's gone

2010-02-23T00:08:00.003+08:00

John Mayer - Dreaming with a broken heart

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
Then waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for a moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with her crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my , roses in my hands?

Would you get them if i did?
No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part

FXTTM

2010-02-20T22:21:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, you do things without thinking it through. You never think about the consequences. You never think about the people around you. How they'd react, how they'd feel. You never think about how you would react after everything. And you feel like shit at the end of it because you are disgusted by yourself.

You realise how selfish you are. You think you need to be safe and unhurt so you just dismiss people around you. Because after all you just don't want to take the blame and hurt.

Then you realise the worst part is how disappointed you are with yourself. And you sink into remorse. Then you realise you need to straighten things out.

You really have to straighten things out and rationalise, analyse them well. After all this, instead of instant gratification, all you wanted was companion. All you wanted was that big hug and someone telling you hey, everything's alright.... What we need to do now is build a healthy relationship and talk about stuff and be happy. And be there for each other for the fun, care, lovin'.

If we both bruise so easily why not we just stop hurtin' each other and start trusting.

Stop giving us last chances because it is now we don't give anymore excuses, it is now that we put our hearts to it.

We will. I will.

Ciao

2010-02-16T17:05:00.002+08:00

Is this my checklist to my dream career?

I want to excel here, then branch out to research. Research in Oncology. Or research in Neurology....

But the criteria...... Research, you need the Chem, you need the Math... Apparently, you need all of them. And I only have 3 H2s. )): Sian ttm.

Math is starin at me. Bio essays are too. Awwwwwww when did CNY become MNY (Mugger's new year) ):

Today, I really felt like I didn't know who I want to have beside me. I felt as though I wanted me to be beside me. So I went home right after a period of bai nians. Went to Zhou Lao Shi's house! Awesomez! Played Mahjong there with Huilin, Huimin and Weichen! I went to zha hu. Sorry guys! rly, blur blur blur rly.

Anw, ... After that we went to Zhan Peng's house. Awesomez again! Always hv so much fun hanging out with them yea. But today, the turn out rate seems low! Like only quite a few of them appeared! You know, the usual people! Got the chance to take Weichen's car, lol!

Ahhhhhh, that's all really. Now home alone... not really, Bro's friends are around!

:DD going to jog later.

May everyday be a happy day just like today! A quiet yet happy day. Love the people around me! All of 'em.

Oh, forgot to mention, went to Macritche to jog and trek with Monkey ytd! Lol, saw big big monitor lizard and big big tortoise! like REALLY BIG AND MONKEY NOT EVEN OBSERVANT! Lousy! Saw alot of his hou zi hou sun too! Ah, a great jog and run. We completed it quite fast :D Horrible part was the up up up all the way to the Treetop Walk. Too bad Cherie and Simon couldn't make it. 2 Fat and Lazy bumz that can't be bothered to wake up for the fun :D

Ah, I go and count AngPow money now!!!!!!!!!!

Adios

Perfectly Lonely :D

2010-02-13T12:23:00.004+08:00

Had a little love, but I spread it thin
Falling in her arms and out again
Made a bad name for my game around town
Tore up my heart, and shut it down

Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do
No one but me
And that's all I need

I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

I see friends around from time to time
When their ladies let them slip away
And when they ask me how I'm doing with mine
This is always what I say

Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do
No one to be
Is it really hard to see

Why I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

And this is not to say
There never comes a day
I'll take my chances and start again
And when I look behind
On all my younger times
I have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong

I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

(It's the way, it's the way, it's the way that I want it)

Found Myself

2010-02-11T21:34:00.003+08:00

Yay! Kris has revert to her old ways and she feels surprisingly comfortable with it.

That emo/MIA period feels so familiar and it's back to visit. Yes, I want more alone time now, more than ever. It's the drop down into some deep rut and want to be left alone to figure out that the walls have holes where I can use to climb out of the shit I am in.

Owells, yes, surprisingly comfortable. I don't know why, don't ask me but this "hate the world and wish that everyone else can get fucked and die" attitude puts me into a fighting mode. It's like "beep" switch turned on and it's me and only me against the world. Somehow this sickening, sadistic Kristine feels like she's got a challenge ahead and should challenge the challenge. Do you see now she has something to fight for and like move forward?!

Ah, okay. So that is that.

She's sooooooooooooooooo way behind in her work even crying won't help. But why am I still stuck online.

This is the time she gets easily irritated and that everyone around her does stupid things and she's devoid of feelings.

This is the time you don't tell her about your problems cause she can fuck care.

This is the time she just can't be bothered about things around her. Which means she would inevitably irritate the hell out of people around her.

CAREER CHOICES.

Why is the school bombarding us with all these! I know the importance of my career and the need to choose the right course so that I can excel in my post.... But this makes my head GROW!

I want to go and talk to school counselor liao!

Reminder for Kris: You don't own the world, if you think so, the World will own you soon and bite a chunk of your fat butt off. (Oh yes butt muscle hurtz after PE on Wed.)

Adios

Being In NTUMUN (2nd Day)

2010-02-06T15:12:00.005+08:00

First day at MUN was a rush and it was crappy. Dinner wasn't nice. Nanyang Executive Centre was pretty though! (NEC) Should have just checked into the hotel to stay just because they are suites! Not those hostel kinda thing. The sum of money you should pay is only but 69 bucks. Totally inclusive of all meals till you can grow fat :D

Ah and so here was the breakdown of a hectic Fri (still contemplating if I should actually blog in detail about the NTUMUN!)

Reached late because there was a huge jam (apparently that stretch of road seems to be always jammed up) But owells, just the usual mingling, lobbying around for more info. Sadly we weren't delegates... No lobbying required. Interviews, yada yada, you get my point.

I am however quite disappointed, people didn't seem to like socialising. If not it'll just be ZZZ.

Ah, after the end of the entire thang, went to meet Monkey and nua. So tired and zzz. I don't know why we even agreed to meet when both of us were tired to the MAXXXXXXXXX Lol.

(When is teabreak for my council! I need the toilet so badly! Oh NTUMUN food suckz ttm)

Bimzy on the bus otw to NTU! ): soooooooo fucken raining and stuff. Don't like at all!

Our chairs that are very serious. Esp the lady over there! We are diplomatic countries. We don't call each other with hand signals nor speak to them directly! ( Ahhh, how I wish I was a delegate! I want to listen to my MP3!) Ugh, not very professional in the councils! ): Bad thing, no hot guys! But its an international conference so there are many foreigners around! ESP from India, Bangladesh, Indonesia, etc.

Somehow, sorry but I feel the debate is shallow and not in depth at all. Still prefer the one at NUSMUN! )))): Local conferences of MUN are usually more vocal, interesting and also one with sufficient argument raised from sufficient research!

Ugh my Lady Chair is pissed now because of the delegate's boring shiat!

May all our resolutions not be passed! Due to too many unmoderated caucuses, moderated caucuses. ): Hahaha, look at everyone clad in real cool black tie attire yet never come up with conclusive debates, heated debates. Still have awkward silences. Ugh. Please, stop complaining Kristine!

Salience

Dopamine may also have a role in the salience of potentially important stimuli, such as sources of reward or of danger. This hypothesis argues that dopamine assists decision-making by influencing the priority, or level of desire, of such stimuli to the person concerned.

What is the basis of such hypothesis?

But in conclusion, even if I am quite sure about something, there are still fears right at the back of my mind! This is for sure that:

Kristine is a commitment phobe!

Adios

Reasons Are Not Excuses

2010-02-05T14:30:00.002+08:00

I have this thing to mention. But then again out of respect, I think I shouldn't.

Owells, I shall write it with ambiguity. Make it real vague.

Alright, I guess just a few sentences.

Kristine is motivated by rewards and of course to entire her future still remains bright... Wait, no she doesn't really work towards rewards.

She just needs fair and equal treatment. Which inevitably means that if you treat her nice, she will do things for you despite being a big airhead and lazy person. So, if you want Kris as a nice and Slavely person.... = Treat Kris nice like feed her with some food!

Ugh. It's like you give me then I'll return.

You don't favour someone else and expect me to do the person's job. Furthermore when you know how can't be bothered the person is with you. Don't put his job scope into mine and expect me to pacify you... Why should I?!

I never get any good. I've given more than I receive.

(Really not the kind that think I give a little, I feel stingy = I feel like I gave a lot. But I really did contribute a lot. All not seen that's all. Ugh)

NTUMUN, the love.

Adios

Baby - Justin Bieber!

2010-02-02T22:57:00.000+08:00

You know you love me
I know you care
And I would never, not be there
You are my love
You are my heart
And we would never, ever, ever be apart

Are we an item?
Girl quit playin'
We're just friends,
What are you sayin'
Take another look right in my eyes
My first love, touch my heart for the first time

And now I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine

For you, I would have done whatever
And ya stick it with me when we're together
And I'm gonn' play it cool
While I'm losin you
I'll buy you anything
I'll buy you any ring
Cause I'm in pieces
Baby fix me
Come see if you wake me from this bad dream*
I'm goin down, down, down

Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought you'd always be mine

You can give me all of your love
Once a time it wont be enough
Nobody told me this day would come
Now I'm all gone
You can give me all of your love
Once a time it wont be enough
Nobody told me this day would come

I wa- I was like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)

Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Now I'm all gone, gone, gone, gone
I'm gonee

CSI

2010-02-01T22:35:00.006+08:00

Competition 2009 :D

This yr's Guy's Team! FTW!

Girls team! 2010. From left is MC, PS(our captain), Kris and JJ! (sadly our juniors aren't in this pic! They're like some dam chio juniors :D)

Before I go down to the unhappy stuff, tell you guys more bout my TT team in NJC. Today played basketball with some of the guys, one junior, Chen Hong, Zhong Xi and Ah Shan, JJ. Loved it soooo much, (sorry even if I left SSP for so long alr, I always think of the place and the life there whenever I have fun with the entire team! Like guys included. Because I don't know why there is always this bridge between guys and girls in the mainstream schools. I love the feeling of unity.)

Why is it that no one believes in platonic friendships anymore?

Okay, here comes the Complain and really Frustrating part of my life. (Be slightly prepared hahah!)

Really can't stand it (CSI) anymore!

FUCK

Everyday at home have no peace at all. In the car have no peace too. Go wherever that has my Mom and Dad = Peace-less. (And thx, my Grandma has to have her share in it as well) I just want to be out of the house till late, just like my brother. Unfair.

Wlao, I don't know why am I so restless these few days but seriously dam friggin' irritated by some fucking attitude they show each other. Please respect each other so that I can show you guys some respect. Every fucking moment have to shout. (maybe you guys aren't shouting but please talk with less crude language and stuff. Wahhhhh, really CSI!)

Bodyache = backache, ankle pain. Thighs muscle ache.

So tired and still need to entertain all the nonsense.

School work lagging and don't know where to start from. Alright I should stop ranting! Oh and family and I went to see see look look and got a NEW sofa for the living room. Giggles, I kinda like it and the fact that I have a bigger space to nua and watch TV now! LOVE

Ciao

(the more you complain, the lesser you'll feel better.) So Kris just join the fun and start hurling your vulgarities or else there will be no place left for you to exist.

Fucktards.

Ciao for real!

Unravelling What's in The Future

2010-01-31T16:35:00.005+08:00

(I want my newspaper to have stuff like this. Hopefully doesn't offend anyone! Lol)

You know that it all takes my breath away.

But there was no certainty in the moments we spent.

I kinda like that part.

May we spend all our breathing moments stuck together till all of our friends are offended by us. Hahaha, no way, I need to establish a hierarchy!

Fun > Family > Friends > Lover > Losers

Anw, I just need to whine and complain which then again, I think I shouldn't. (Actually it's cos I am lazy to type and seeing the piles and piles of homework I need to complete. Ugh, gives me the shudder. I need a care free life which apparently is hard to come by.)

Did my MUN research and wow how much should I know about controlling and managing pandemics? I don't know for god's sake really. So much info, I hope that I'd be a cute kid who is able to handle the WHO section well. Der Spiegel reporting.

I want it to be a nice newspaper reporty style!

Went out with Cher, Simon, Derick ytd AGAIN. Cher finally see her so long nv see her liao. She gone with the wind liao! Always stick to Simon like glue! Cher Where u, miss u TTM! Just kidding, luv you la, ttm :D Let's just make every Saturday our day so that I have something to look forward to at the end of every week. But nxt wk can't! NTU MUN! Can't wait really really really eager to go for it. Idk am I so engrossed in it. Ah, this Wed have to attend TDD briefing at.... I don't know the venue. Ooops bttr go check it out!

Tues, mommy bringing me out to get my formal attire and also to buy new clothes. Kris, chiong this week ttm and you'll really be satisfied with the results you'l l be getting. Promise :D

Oh did go to SSP to work for Sat. And then Ah Shan and me helped out at registration and then went to play TT at the hall. Best hall ever and still will be the best hall one can find in Sg. :D Coach Dave treated us (Ah Shan, Zhai Yu and Me) for lunch at pizza hut. Full till can die!!!! Wlao, all the weight I lost, back so dam fast! ):

Not going jogging with Bimz and Shan. ): Bimz CMI and I muscle ache and hv lots of work undone!!! Ah Shan... The most ENTHUSIASTIC one, I bet she's disappointed! Heehee, tmr PE chiong till we lao sai okie! Luv u guys.

Ciao

(There's so much to figure the rest of my life... Please don't get me coming undone so soon!)

Never More Certain

2010-01-26T18:30:00.007+08:00

Again, Kris is misunderstood.

Maybe she'll live a misinterpreted life all this life.

Does that make sense? I know its like if I don't say it, no one will understand. But it isn't really the problem if you understand or not... It's more of like you're not the kind I'd like for you to understand. I don't want a fake you but the real you doesn't really captivate me. I believe in a leopard can never change its spots.

Kris is thinking too much, yea, even she thinks she is Lol

We can write a thousand bad romances, but doesn't mean I'd love to be writing them with you.

One thing I'd like to say why boys/the male species/man can never be someone I'd be able to coexist with. Unless... Actually I don't unless what, there is no unless! They have ego problems, weird characters, weird thoughts/ways of going about things and sometimes it's not the most logical way to settle things. Don't go around with your brawns and tiny brain to pick up some childish fights, do threats over the internet.

This girl here requires practicality, assumes that something is awesome, sweet, great when you bring her around to new places, have tons of laughter, enjoy a nice movie, have nice food... These things, memories get played back, unlike that teddy bear collecting dust on the shelves when I forget the reason why I received it.

I need to appreciate simple things like an easily satisfied girl :D

Miss Wu and class were having SexEd today and then, all the blabber and stuff about the difference of Asian and Western culture wasn't surprising, but made me green with jealousy. Am yearning badly for the chance to be in a Westernised society... But only in a partial one because I'd be an outcast for not having multiple flings and experimenting with sex when I'm 13. It's not really being prudish or what, true to say, it's about the values you hold close and true to yourself. Cut the crap, now I'd like to say the part that I really yearn about their culture. I want to have independence, move out to stay alone, or with a friend when I turn 21 but I feel like I'm swallowed into this whole filial piety thing. It doesn't really matter if I can support myself fully or not, it's just that when I don't have the pillar behind me to lean on, I will some how have to find an alternative.

I know people out there want to say stuff like, you don't know how privileged and loved. Not that I don't know, I need more hardship out there to show myself that indeed, there's something worth fighting for in my life, even if its just that simple 3 meals a day to be looked after.

Ahhhh, the Asians and their reserved ways... Hey, wait, I'm an Asian too. Owells (sigh)

Independent and full of herself, she just needs those close friends, money, achievements, family and I guess that's sufficient. Soulmates need not necessarily be the one and only that you spend your life with. My soulmate would be one I wouldn't mind spending my entire life with, despite being in the sidelines to the more important things in her/his life. It's actually alright cos the insecurity fades...

By adding in a little of everything, I might just get the right concoction. Need all the friends by my side, need those who I care for to know I care for without me being so straightforward with it, you know I have issues.

I really need you to need me more than I need you so that I will want to need you. Or else I can't overcome this paranoia

Friends, ultimately, are the ones that last you a lifetime, family... I really CBB liao, just try my best to give a balanced stance, give an objective view to the entire situation.

Please don't forget me.

Supposed to utilize my new sports shoes fully and jog today, but I just feel seh and want to type out some feelings in tons of words the SMS section of the phone cannot contain...

Love,

Kris

Hiatus/MIA

2010-01-24T14:14:00.004+08:00

/Edit!!!

Lol, since I have to shut FB down and go and hiatus, shall post picz of today at BPCC. Thx to Cher the camera lady, Act one!

Monkey act a nice bicep/tricep with sweat. EEEE smelly monkey.

Simon and his messy hair with Malau and his monkey face. Kris with her big nose and Cher with her lousy cam skills! Take ugleh picz of you ah Cher toh!

Hahaha, I think that this pic is coolz, Cher has a lazy but want to act not lazy face and I have a smallbig eye face.

Monkey act cool

Kris studying like an ah lian at the bball courts. Can't stand it sitting at the side like some delinquent and look at some guy play bball. Even if the guy is my boyf or whatever, it's just so lame if I spend time there. Can't stand it, I am not an ah lian that kind! Grrr, I think only Cher understands haha, unless its some match or that kinda thing. Cher luv u ttm :D

Sorry before I go on hiatus! Need to show Cher, Monkey, Bimz and many more my new shoes I just bought today :D

Have new shoes liao so I can run and be free like a Free Willy, oops, freewilly swims! UGH, Free Willy? Sounds so WILL, bimz hee. Eh, no, just that I want to run till I SEH the whole week, I always think I have too much energy at the end of the day but then cannot use it for studying, I feel uber guilty!

Got it at Great World for a real good deal! Malau go grab it or else no more size and cheap price liao. Hiatus not even one day miss everyone ttm.

Second ciao, luv all ttm.

Adios

(Afternoon emoness post)

Disappearing again.

Somehow feels like I've lost my footing for my life. And I need to shun away from people contact or else I will just slip down this so slippery hill.

Ah, ran with Pesh and Van this morning. Horrible start of the day, not the jogging part the at home ZZZ with my Mom part and all the adults so ZZZ. Next time I will be a sensible and sensitive adult and understand that a teenager's brain captures more than they think it does.

Went over to BPCC to "play" basketball. Just sat there to chat with Cher. ): Had wanted to play so badly. But there were so many people around. It's not like table tennis where I have the guts to go up and play cos I know I wont throw my own face. But BBALL, I just want to have fun, laugh at all the missed shots and joke around, but you knw how competitive Kris is and chiong till laosai is her aim what, somemore play with outsiders. Suckz ttm, pls get that mentality out of you, you need some help quick. I don't know why, I guess cos I suckz. Fumbling for my confidence and asking why I'm still here. I am meant to live for so much more.

I hate it when simple things get processed in the brain and somehow gets intertwined with some huge philosophical ways. Isn't a happy life supposed to be a simple one? Maybe I'm living with my eyes half open.

You know what, lazy to explain here, I don't owe anyone some explanation for my inability to join in the fun...

How do you think a weird but enjoyable/fun person should integrate into this society? Currently, I'm really out of place, need to find myself a slot where I can squeeze in and become hidden. I need to run and be tired to clear my mind and terrible ways of thinking. Furthermore, I need to ): swim. I want to swim....

I want to do so much,

but so little time I have.

I want to have all the friends I can in the world, keep them close to me. Being personally close to all my friends which I term "close" doesn't seem to be happening. I want more than this life has got to offer. I want to build strong relationships with people and not forget those who still remember me. Just cos Kris has big ego issues. Want to tell all those around me how much I love them but those words are just used too sparsely.

Owells, deactivated FB yea so ...

Won't be coming online for a 2 wks or so. Wondering why the world passes me by soooooo quick.

Hoping I'm meant for more than arguments and failed attempts to fly.

Kris you can fly but wasting time here won't prove the point.

Sorry, another thing before I end. Pesh and me were chatting when we were on the MRT and we were quite keen on going for NS. Lol, 2 years of my life in NS, I don't mind really. I mean, it's not as though I have a direction. Want Medicine course so badly, just like everyone else, what makes you think that I can make it. I know I always say chiong alr then decide, however never considered about chionging for the impossible.

Kris you fucking think too much so bye.

Ciao

Will be back soon

You should know how I feel

2010-01-22T22:23:00.003+08:00

I wish for happiness throughout the year and many more true and pure friendships.

I wish for my family to be happier than never before.

I wish my JC2 life would be memorable and I can leave the school with flying colours.

Kris turned 18years old in Macau on 16th January. Sorry she didn't post about how fun the trip was cos she's too tired and lazy. Just want you to know its the best Booooomz birthday one can ever have. So she's contented...

She feels like she needs some alone time too. Guess I'm going MIA soon. Only reason I switch on my computer is to hear this song by Dave Matthews Band -- Some Devil. Can't seem to download it. I didn't go out to check if the disc is on sale. But cmon, the songs, so many are so so so nice how can I possibly get all of them in one disc? ):

So I would like that disc -- Dave Matthews Band

Oh and yes that one that says -- Battle Studies, John Mayer.

Sayooonara, Kris' wishes shall come true cos that's her last wish for her day.

(Went out with Cher, Simon, Monkey. Insecurity caught me up again. Useless me I guess, always paranoid. Cher is this called paranoid, I'm sorry. I just can't help it. You can call me childish or whatever you want. Ugh, Kris is too sensitive to be actually around friends.)

She shall crawl back to her little shell and hide there forever. And never come out. I'd love to play the basketball now, so tempted to exercise but why don't I have those crazy friends that would exercise with me. I want someone that would chiong and jog with me and not say about being lazy and stuff. It isn't how much you run, you set your own score, aim your own aims and go for it. The intensity doesn't really matter, the rounds don't either. Just need you to exercise to your max. And of course, always be there for me to ask you out for exercise. Not just that shopping cos I don't feel the kick.

Sorry oh yea, pocket's burnt, big hole there now. Don't know why and how I spend money so fast eh!

Kris is so picky. Slap her once, twice, up to you.

Ciao

I pray to be only yours

2010-01-21T18:32:00.002+08:00

I wanted to hold you

I wanted to make your everything alright

I always remember

In places no one will find

All your feelings so deep inside

Forever was in your eyes

The moment I saw you Cry

Hey people, this blog is sooooo dead and I think that I won't be uploading anything today. Any pictures I mean, I think FB would be a great enough place to chuck all my photos. Shit, it doesn't let me upload.

And I am really growing fat. Should I go and jog now? Not that I'm lazy, just that haven't gotten my pair of shoes. Ugh, horrible. I want to ^^ I guess I will go and skip. You know what. I'm just lazy. Switching the Com off at 1900 hours. Need to get some work mood back or else I will be again wasting the whole day. Can't stand that.

Ah, I did comment at the History discussion forum. I usually start off with a very conclusive argument in mind but in the course of writing down what I think should be, my decision starts to waver and then I change my stand in life.

I always feel so sure of what the goal, what I think of how something would actually turn out. But it just deviates off course. Can't blame for that, I mean, isn't it Chiong first the say. Chiong first then face the music. Now we're young, why not go through all the fun first before we become wrinkly, by then we will not have fun like how we are having it now.

Conclusion: Chiong first then say.

Pon GP lect today. Don't ask why. Tired lazy. More importantly, sick and scared of that place you call SCHOOL. Ugh, left so many things out of my bag today and then went to classes empty handed. Kristine, you are shit and if you don't buck up, no one's going to wait for you....

And you will have to live in a life of regrets,

What you fear most

What you loathe most.

Ciao

Heartbreak Warfare

2010-01-12T17:30:00.006+08:00

Lightning strikes
Inside, my chest to keep me up at night
Dream of ways
To make you understand my pain

Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare

If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?

Drop his name
Push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain

Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare.

If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?

Just say so...

How come the only way to know how high you get me
is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me
but I can't break through at all.

It's a heartbreak...

I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Let's just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we're gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down
Red wine and ambien
You're talking shit again, it's heartbreak warfare
Good to know it's all a game
Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak warfare.

Face The Love in School

2010-01-10T22:43:00.002+08:00

Omg fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!

I know Bimzy says I should never swear. But I am godamnit fucking irritated by the fact that I have to attend school.... tomorrow?!

Hello! I haven't even had my fill of fun!

Fuck! Kristine hates this piece of shit! ):

Worse her work all stuck half way! Cannot face life so unprepared!

Cherie, faster call me to calm my nerves :D

Luckily, Bimzy walking into school with me! :) Luckily have her, or else my life in NJC is screwed. I will try scare the JC1s and tell them how scary the fucking school is!

Bye

and those who care for my fucking life please fucking pray for me.

Fucking horrible! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay, lastly, I apologise for my swearness there! And oh ya all the people who are getting their Os tmr, good luck! Esp Malau face!

Ciao

Dancing in The Moonlight

2010-01-09T02:56:00.004+08:00

/Edited post (added the photos we took into the post :D)

Too much lazy to be shifting the photos here and there! Just throw it all in but starting off with a spam of lovely Cher and Kris :D

Next on would be scary Malau and Simon

Then all the random pictures you can find under the sun!

HAHHAHAHA SORRY HAVE THIS CUTE SPOILER IN OUR WONDERFUL PICZ LOL!

Oh dear yes, I'm still stuck in the yesterday spirit.

Come back Kristine, come back!

Miss all ya guys!

/Edited post (added the photos we took into the post :D)

This post consists of real and true emotions. (Not as though I was faking about previous posts)

08-01-2010, Night and Midnight.

Had tons of fun. Super duper lots of fun. Went out with Cherie and Simon and Derick. I can't explain or give a reason to why the feeling was just great with them. I guess it was because we were having genuine fun. No worries thrown in. Fun, just pure fun. Imagine having so much fun I thought I was practically on alcohol. Tiredness and laughter and getting tricked all adds up to one huge awesomez package.

Here's a simple timeline that I've drawn up after the events today.

Kris meets Derick and then walks around 313 and Orchard Central. Chatting about stuff and more stuff because we were waiting for Simon and Cher to arrive. All these late bugs.

Then Simon and Derick start playing mind games with each other which means I am stuck in the middle. Simon wants us to hunt him down and I did predict with exact precision he'd be in Uniqlo. Found him when we saw SC and Deb coming out of the shop and telling us: I saw that friend of you leh!

Cher came along and we made our long and warm way to Cathay to get tickets for our movie: The Vampire's Assistant. Horrible show and storyline I'd say but it was funny watching with those guys... Especially with a Monkey boy sitting beside me watching a Monkey girl right up in the big screen! We just couldn't find Derick's curled up tail. (Movie did really suck) Oh and Simon's curly hair made him the.... Older orange haired vampire.

Really sorry, I need to squeeze in this part about the dinner that we had at the building beside the LAN building. Jap food and fun again. (what more can I actually add?! I just want this post to be summarised with: LOVE, FUN, AWESOMEZ, FUN, FRIENDS (TRUE).

Finished the movie and walked and laugh and then reached the Esplanade and went to roof garden to have more FUN! Just talked and played the monkey jump jump game. The one with coloured keys you slot into the barrel and then see which one makes the monkaye pop out of its position... Simon and Derick got all the forfeits. Lucky us. Then the monkey popping thang spoilt! No more! (oh and we did spend some amount of time getting one of those keys out, it was wedged in a crack on the floor... )

Ended up chatting, listening to music and also, tricking each other... Frankly speaking, I was the one tricked the most 'cos I was really quite the slow reaction among them (my slow rxn is only for this night okay!)

Eg. How do you pronounce "Ma" and "Chi" and "Ne" ... Then how would you pronounce Machine if I didn't type it out for you.... (okay I fail in telling a dumbjoke over the internet, spare me the agony of an awkward silence)

Cher mei you bang wo! How can! Hee.

Took some pictures and then we trotted to Marina Square... For some Macs which was closed, so we went over to the 7-11 which could be reached using a secret path.. And poof we were suddenly there (sorry this part of the memory was quite unclear. Guess it was due to too much of laughter and freaking out) Oh I remember. Bad headlock from Malau! I'm revenge-thirsty! Lol.

7-11 = cup noodles, hard boiled eggs... Door opener services. Bigbig Gulp? Which was a weird mix of Coke and Diet Coke?! Lol. (don't know why I am actually smiling to myself while typing the post..... apparently the laughing gas hasn't worn off! Lol)

Sat at a squeezy bench to devour our food. More laughter and Boomers, Smoker luh. What not. Then we got chased away by mean Boomer security guard. Had to leave for the day! ): I couldn't bear, and couldn't comprehend how the night has actually ended. (Wished it never had to end)

The parting was heart wrenching.

The school reopening this Monday is torturing.

The need for more trust from my parents is always there cutting me up I swear. If only they knew we aren't some stupid kids from the block that engage in illegal activities. Trying to act cool for the sake of it... Trying smoking, alcohol, sex, drugs. Oh please dear Mom and Dad I know I have a future and if I ruin it by so... You can burn me in Hell. Sometimes, I am actually more concerned about my future than you are. The fact I don't have a college fund. It's fine really. If I have to do what I have to do to get me my education which is freaking important... Guess what, I will do so even without your support.

This isn't hatred. Just a pleading for trust which is hard to gain.

I want freedom just because... I know what I am doing.

Not blaming, I know there's love involved. Love which may sometimes be too overpowering. I still appreciate it.

I'm sorry if I'm a letdown.

Ciao

(Despite that the night ended with a grumpy mood... As you guys always say... Only remember the good stuff and yes my brain's cramped with great stuff)

I want you and you just have to know

2010-01-04T12:11:00.002+08:00

Leaving for the Chalet soon.

Gotta go get the BBQ stuff. Expect this entire experience to be a quiet one. We haven't got any bonding going on this whole year, somehow I feel that yea, this is how it will be going.

I want to prepare nice stuff so that at least we get to enjoy great food :D

Kristine has already planned on what to do with her life but she's just scared that she will screw up. If you want to be on her side and support her... Do mention so and she will tell you about her plans. She has 100000000000000000 litres of faith in her yet somehow she's telling herself to take each step with caution...

Isn't life supposed to be short and sweet. Think of what, chiong first then decide afterwards. Then face the consequences which are not usually dire. :D

May today be a great day.

Adios

The Fourth Kind of Happiness

2010-01-02T18:05:00.004+08:00

THOUSAND AND ONE THINGS 1001 TO MENTION IN THIS BLOG POST. I SHALL WRITE DOWN WHATEVER IS STILL STUCK IN THIS LOUSY MEMORY OF MINE.

Alright... So for New Year's Eve me and Cher hung out with Simon, Derick and... Yus and Janice and . . . . Err owells the other 2 sorry, didn't catch your names.

Went for an awesome countdown :D

Watched the show Fourth Kind which isn't really scary yet frightening at the same time. The creepiest part about the show would be the fact that the person they interviewed...(Oh oh, I didn't mention that the show was kinda like a documentary. No good storyline, neither was there a conclusion at the end. It was the kind of if you believe it's real, it is. If not, it's not.) Looked like a replicate of an alien. Not to mention her popping out eyes, thin like an insect face and body. Her name was Abigail Tyler and she was abducted by UFOs and Aliens along with other people. She was a psychologist and she counselled a bunch of people who said that they saw owls staring down at them when they were about to fall asleep and they couldn't sleep. She wanted them to remember about more details so she hypnotised them and guess what, they saw that they were abducted. More or less that's what the show is about. :D

Next up after the movie was... a rush to the Esplanade so that we could catch the Wonderful fireworks at the strike of midnight. Yea, they were fanciful and nice. I'm sure we have some pictures somewhere on someone's camera.

Next on was the most interesting part of the night :D WE JOINED THEM (at Paradise Centre) PEOPLE TO PLAY LAN WHICH WAS .... TOTALLY UNIMAGINABLE BECAUSE WE DON'T PLAY LAN AND THEN WE FIND OURSELVES AT PARADISE ... PLAYING LEFT 4 DEAD 2. I prefer being the Zombies I'd say. More exciting even if it means that we die faster. :D Oh whatever. Our team which comprised Cher (cher) , Derick (shit you one piece) , Yus(YuS) and Kris(kris) lost terribly to the other group which had Simon (ONEPIECE), Janice(JM), the girl that I didn't get her name (whoisreon) and the other guy (Nick/Dyan) :D

Great killing and spawning and yay.

Simon was really good at it and our group's slogan when we were the zombies were to all attack Simon! ALL KILL ONEPIECE hahah! Then we played till it was roughly 4.30 in the morning then headed out to walk the streets all the way to Heeren for Macs Breakfast. I didn't get any though. I was way too broke. I spent a total of near $60 for the entire day. ): Broke Kris is sad Kris.

(Oh, suddenly remember !!! I've gotten the Good Progress Award = Kaching in my bank account!!!)

Then Cher and I went to the bus stop and waited for 65 to head home. I arrived home at 7 and was fast aslp at 7.30am. :D

That was how New Year's Eve was spent. Totally AWESOMEZ!

Met new friends, had fun, had laughter, what more could you ask for... (Got to know a new malau! )Oh yea, not everything was really cool luh huh. Some people just had to spoil the mood. But doesn't matter cos I was the least affected by it. Highness coupled with tiredness makes Kris couldn't care less about all those bad thrashin' attitudes that people show. FUN AND FUN AND FUN IS THE MOST IMPORTANT!

Ha, here are some picz with many many captions (I hope)

Hammie from my cousin's house. Super fat and flat :D you can place it on your palm and swing it around and it flattens on your palm... Okie I know you can't picture that but we celebrated Christmas there :D the exchange of presents and looking at long long distant relatives... Ugh, I hate socialising and being commented on.

Then there is the :D :D :D Prawning that Kris highly acclaimed ! Great one! Yummy prawns and full of excitement!

Greedy us... Ooops, no not us. It's GREEDY CHER!

My mom, forgot what she was doing with the BBQ-ed prawns!

The leftovers :D

The live and jumping yet being BBQ-ed prawns. Please don't scold me or say that I am cruel or what. It's just the same as all those meat that is slaughtered everyday!

Those huge claws that I extracted from one of the huge prawns we caught!

Oh this one is the catty that had a cute short tail that I took great fancy for :D

HAHAHA! ROACHY which is Vanessa and Cherie's favey!

This one was found at Far East's KFC !

When I was taking the Singapore Flyer :D Wheeee the scenery was awesomez and I predict even better when the IR is up! Esp at night with all those dazzling lights!

Mash potato from Popeye's which I fell half in love with... I don't usually eat mashed potatoes. :D

Hahaha them nails I must show! Too bad they only lasted for some time!

That's all I have for you guys.

Also, wanted to say that I am scared that I will have no friends. Ugh, don't know why. Suddenly thought of it. If people around me start leaving, what do I do?!

TRUE FRIENDS WILL HANG AROUND.

Leaving home soonz to go for more L4D2 later on.

School is reopening. Would you lend me your shoulder so I can lean on it and weep on it. And keep up with the work that will be adding on the pile that I have now... Cry for me oh dear, won't you do that?

Adios

Just for Fun

2009-12-28T13:36:00.004+08:00

Okie some picz to entertain you guys :D

Wlao, I have some Yin Yang Gung Fu just that I never use on you guys LOL

May all happy people that have no worries live on forever... Err no, then we will have worries soon. Cher, I will live fast die young!

:D Favey Chao seng hershey's pie!

Last Picture to gross the hell outta you!

Anw, this is a crappy post. I'm supposed to be helping my Mom with some paper work from her office. But I haven't received the confirmation letter yet! Waiting and waiting and wasting my Mom's time. Sorry I'm so inefficient! But I'm only paid $15 bucks for it!!! ):

Meeting Cher Toh sooon! ^^ Puzzle puzzle day!

Urgh. Secretly, Kristine hates to socialise! ): Hate to mix around with people she doesn't know. Hates change! Hates and is scared of lotsa things which somehow seems impossible to mention now. Lol.

Ah, yes. Forget to mention lousy pok Vanessa who lost her EZlink card AGAIN today! GRRR. Lost like 2 within less than 6 months I guess. Too bad you careless like shitz. Don't sad lah. Waste more money that's all! I mean maybe you work so much for BC. That's where you're supposed to spend your blood/sweat money at! LOL.

Off I go to meet Cher and pull off more pranks on people and also to chat endlessly. And to sit in with her during her lecture this 4oclock. Sayooonara.

And also, I kinda miss the old G. Pls do comeback and find me after you've had your share of all the fun and guys outthere. Miss ya. Oh and to the rest whom I haven't been hanging out with, miss ya guys too. Miss Woanwoan much tooo! Hang out soon dudes! ugh I forgot! Needa return Debi Seah's boooooks! Eh, anth lousy pok, nv remind me then later say I owe it so long alr. Sorry alright, you know I hate the hassle of returning things! ):

I mean unless you need it urgently!

And I think of all the people outthere having fun. Ahhhhh, grrr. Tell me, someone tell me that I needa leave this old shell this boring life and step out to the fresh life that is waiting for me. Oh, yes, that would be next year. I CAN SMOKE AND DRINK AND HAVE ALL THE FUN I WANT THIS 16TH JAN 2009. BUT I GUESS I WON'T BE DOING SO. KRISTINE IS A CULTIVATED PERSON AND WITHOUT THE RESTRICTION OF LAWS DOESN'T MEAN THAT SHE HAS LOST ALL CONTROLS AND YOU KNOW WILL COMMIT SOME STUPID ARSE MISTAKES.

Til then, if I do, pls tell me, "See I've told/warned you before this would happen.... (yadayada)" Then nag at me for the next 48 hours!

Adios

Live with Passion (Try to)

2009-12-25T13:40:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas! I've lost track of time and .... Didn't realise I'm already reaching the end of this year! ):

There's a reason for not being too happy because I still cannot gain trust from others. Is it because I give too little trust or that I am so WTF face. GRRRRRR

Will it be a good year ahead?!

What will be my resolutions! Which I always set out every year and then lose them less than a quarter through the new year. Who needs a plan anyway when you can be flexible and cope with all the shit that is thrown at you! ): huh, maybe not me! ):

Okay so there's this Genting 09 post that I still owe this blog. I will put it up soon. Most of the pictures are those that are self obsessed. :D

Okay you know what.. I will make this the GENTING POST!

Just to tell you that this time round... It wasn't as much fun. Because of our age? or? I don't know really. Because we didn't enjoy the arcades... We didn't get to go to the overly packed theme park. Didn't get any thrill rides and no crazy screaming and stuff....... So that leaves us with the Casino and the pubs. Bad part about this is that we are only 17 so the pubs and casino seem to be like no avail to us. But guess what?

We managed to get into the Casino! Lol. Tried to look mature and stuff and guess what, we managed to get in!!! :D and then we gambled at the jackpot machine! :D but lost away our money ASAP. Then went to find my mom, sat at the same table to play.... ROLAI? I don't know how to spell it. But it's the game with the circular thing with a ball in it. The guy turns the ball and see which no. it falls into! And hopefully it falls into the slot that we had our bets on :D Yea, we won some but then gave all our Kaching to my Mom.

Went outta the casino, walked around and ZZZ. Nothing more to do. Except to be back in disguise again to get into the pub.... Not the cool one I repeat. It was not the cool one where all the youngsters were hanging out at! It was the old lao lao pokpok Cantonese singing kind! ): ): ): What sia! I mean literally ZZZ we couldn't get in the youngster onez cos they needed to see our I/Cs. GRRR!

Okie that's all.

Down to more ZZZ stuff now.

Yes work is still piled there. More than sian. Afterwards will be going down to my Aunty's for a Christmas party... Thing I am contemplating now would be if I should dress up. I mean not that there would be any hot guys.... Wait ( I forgot, I'm supposed to be low self esteem..) Even if I dressed up the hot guy wouldn't be lookin' at me! Hee. Okie, I feel so much much much more demure! I swear! Present's ready. Everything's ready... except my mind that is asking if
I should go or not!

I think now my house/family is in some sort of a chaos. I guess one household can never hold 2 stags? and lots of hens? Hahahaha.. What am I talking about.. Okay, here is the breakdown! It means that my house should never hold 2 crazy males and lots of bickering females. It makes everyday so GRRRRR! Make me super temperamental. My grandma is like a non stop nagging machine that nags at maximum volume, like some blooooody techno music that blasts into your ears! WTF! And then my bro bloody fails in communication. Can't even speak some simple language. Communicate with the family and stuff.... Like somehow we are his burden or wtf. Can't be bothered. Then My mom and dad. Wlao. Just so TMD sian.

Anw, this shouldn't be the place I should throw my grievances at!

Ciao

P/s Forgot to say that Kristine may be equally as irritating to any of my family members. But you know what !!! I'm like living in my own life already. Yet trying to combine it with good communication. HAHAH FUCK. rly. So crappy I don't know what I'm typing.